I asked myself why I was seeing two beautiful, healthy looking Coyote running by my apartment building the other day. Clearly they were determined on finding breakfast, but how will they find it in this neighbourhood?
Where are they coming from, I wondered. A friend reminded me that their natural habitat has been disturbed by so called "progress". How sad is that, I thought. These beautiful creatures have been left homeless, and the only way they can survive is to feed on domestic animals - and perhaps they are a little happier to find chickens in neighbouring backyards.
Then today I was alerted by Google of important information about the ongoing struggle by environmental groups in BC to maintain the pristine beauty and wildlife habitat of this amazing province.
I connected the dots and realized that this article answers my question - "Why were coyotes running wild on Tisdall St. in Vancouver?"
The story found at this link tells it all. http://www.bclocalnews.com/kootenay_rockies/thegoldenstar/news/108436954.html.
"Somehow, the Provincial Ministry of Environment and the Federal Department of Fisheries and Oceans approved the idea of a fish translocation into a pristine wetland. This is a clear example of how these projects can go wrong, despite a rigorous application process."
For more of the same type of information check out http://thecanadian.org
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
My Experience as a Canvasser/Regional Director in the Anti-HST Campaign in Vancouver BC
Submission to the Common Ground Magazine, July 24, 2010
I was just going along with my friend to keep her company at a rally at Kitsilano High School.
Admittedly when she mentioned that the HST would result in less money in my pocket, I paid attention. But historically I do not get involved with protests. I am more apt to join a group of people who are “for” something, rather than “against”.
Mr. Vander Zalm’s message had a clear ring of integrity and sincerity. I did not hear or feel an intention to “fight” or to “resist” anything.
He invited volunteers to come together to stop the implementation of a bad tax that would cause financial struggle for people already stretched beyond their limits.
I felt like he was speaking to me – a retired senior citizen on a very low fixed income.
After the rally I happily signed the petition and eagerly registered to become a canvasser to collect signatures for the petition.
And the rest is history – actually her-story – my personal story of my experience in the HST Initiative Petition campaign.
Will this go down in history? You bet it will!
Was it a walk in the park? No!
Was it a challenging experience? Yes!
Would I do it again? Not until I restore my life to normal and dance and play with friends for a while.
Without a doubt, this has been one of the most rewarding and liberating experiences in my life.
What have I learned from this intense and demanding project? More than I can write about here, that’s for sure.
I feel very privileged to be a part of the first Citizens’ Initiative in British Columbia since it came into force in 1994. No other province in Canada has recall legislation.
Thank you, Mr. Vander Zalm, for introducing this legislation which allows citizens of BC to exercise their democratic right to express their opinions about new legislation between elections, and to recall politicians who are not listening to their constituents.
The original group headed up by Chris Delaney and Bill Vander Zalm created a highly motivated human organism that has accommodated the desires of most of the citizens of BC to send a clear message to the government – STOP THE HST NOW. [Note to editor – please help with the wording – I want to say in human terms a well greased machine]
One of the highlights that impressed me in this province wide adventure was how easily and eagerly individuals from all walks of life – blue collar workers, white collar corporate executives from all political parties, retired and working senior citizens, teachers, parents, healthcare practitioners, and still others, joined together and so generously and graciously volunteered their energy, their valuable time and in many cases financial contributions.
Vancouver was the last area in BC to achieve their targets – I don’t know why and leave that to the strategists to figure that out. But what was so gratifying was that canvassers in nearby ridings offered to travel the distance and spend time canvassing here until we met our targets.
They arrived in vans and cars in large groups; they came in pairs independently and canvassed on busy street corners. In the pouring rain, for example, at City Square, they joined our canvassers and collected as many signatures as they could until they were soaking wet and finally headed for their homes for relaxing hot baths.
Their generosity leaves me speechless.
Volunteers not eligible to sign the petition also came on board. One that I know, a 16 year old Vancouver high school student assisted official canvassers in Pt. Grey. His job was to qualify people for eligibility to sign and their ridings, to speed up the signing process. His motivation was to learn more about the BC election process and to gain experience as a volunteer for credits at school. I think he was thrilled to take part in such a significant history making event.
Over 6,500 volunteers were approved by BC Elections as Canvassers to collect signatures for the petition. Regretfully not all of them made it to the starting gate.
Some of those approved were invited to act as Regional Organizers and Team Captains to motivate and support the canvassers.
Together, with their combined impressive talents and expertise, with remarkable perseverance, persistence, patience and sincere desire to exercise their democratic rights, they achieved incredible and exceptional results.
They exceed expectations and the targets - first the BC Elections 10%, then the internal campaign's 15%. By the end of June when the petition will be submitted to BC Elections the results will show many ridings have exceeded 20% of the registered voters.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world ; Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead
Other highlights of the campaign that warmed my heart:
A personal incident
The joy of receiving a rare phone call from my son in Toronto after he and my 5 year old granddaughter were surprised to hear my voice on the car radio. I was being interviewed downtown at the Vancouver Public Library one very rainy day by CBC Radio and TV.
Restrictions that hampered our progress
And on that very day, while being interviewed and filmed a very official looking woman representing the library approached me and asked me if I had permission to be there with our table and signs collection signatures.
When I admitted that we did not have permission, she asked us to pack up our things and leave. I then asked her where else we could go, and with the media cameras still trained on us, she directed us to the north side of the building under the protection of the canopy there. What a stroke of luck that was – permission to canvass on the VPL property.
According to other ridings in BC, including Burnaby and Surrey/Delta , local businesses, community centres, shopping malls, large grocery chains and parks generously offered their property for signing locations.
But Vancouver was unique in that there seemed to be a fear of annoying customers with what they called a political campaign. I thought this odd because their customers were writing emails and calling our website suggesting we set up locations where they could easily find us – for example, at their favourite grocery stores.
Humanitarian Gestures
Other stories of humanitarian gestures by local businesses offering us shelter from the weather while canvassing, are very touching.
A local delicatessen owner provided food and beverages for one of our team meetings; a local coffee shop provided coffee and snacks for our Sunday petition counting group.
My own experience from working with teams of volunteers has accelerated my personal growth in leaps and bounds.
Yes I ran into challenges dealing with a few folks, but as I always see conflict as about me rather than the other guy, once acknowledged and accepted I have moved on.
I have nothing but pure love and admiration for every single volunteer and every person who signed the petition.
------------------------------------
Determination to sign
Here is a story of a very determined woman who became my personal project. I was responding to phone calls to the website phone number. Most of the calls were from people who wanted to know where to sign the petition, and they did not have access to the internet. I don’t know how they got the phone number, but I’m glad they did because I was able to help many folks that way.
This woman, Barbara was able to get out of the house and to travel by skytrain but not for extended periods of time. I wanted to find her a signing location that she could get to and from easily and quickly. I emailed volunteers in her riding with her phone number and asked them to contact her with locations. I also told Barbara to call me on Friday if she had not heard from anyone.
Most people by now would have given up and decided not to sign the petition, but not Barbara. She called me on Friday feeling very disappointed and worried that she would not get to sign. I did have a thought that perhaps I should drive to her and bring a petition sheet to her, but frankly I was bogged down with work (all HST stuff) and I probably would have in the next round of attempts.
Finally I was able to put her in touch with a team captain who directed her to a very nearby location and Barbara signed the petition, returned home and called me to say thanks for the trouble.
Needless to say, I felt great that we were able to accommodate her and she was a happy camper. How rewarding is that?
-----------------------------------------
Shopping mall security guards also wanted to sign the petition. I met one in a mall and asked him who I should talk to about getting permission to set up tables in the mall. He gave the name and phone number of the appropriate person in the administration offices. He clearly sympathized with our plight and asked where he could sign the petition.
------------------------------------------------
On another day, while using the parking lot to meet visiting canvassers from Surrey, Delta, White Rock and Langley, we waited under the canopy of the grocery store because once again it was a rainy windy day.
While handing out supplies and signs to our visiting canvassers, a security van pulled up, a security guard jumped out and ran over asking to sign the petition. Then he got back into his van and drove away. I was very grateful, realizing that he was going out on a limb for us.
As soon as customers noticed that we were canvassers for the HST petition, we were inundated with requests to sign. For two hours we had a steady flow of customers signing until a different security guard arrived and reluctantly asked us to leave. He was very patient while we had to turn away several folks who wanted to sign.
----------------------------------------
The majority of the public were so kind and grateful for being available at central signing locations. We were asked why we were not door-knocking because many had expected us to show up at their homes.
We did try to get into apartment buildings and condominiums but found that managers and strata councils decided not to allow us in to canvass door to door, nor even to set up tables in their lobbies.
I feel badly for people who cannot leave their homes but it was out of our control.
We know that had we time, energy and lots more canvassers we would have reached much higher numbers of signatures.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Viva le differance
Thoughts of the day...
When the salesman at Atkins and Grainger was surprised that I had never heard the nickname, Wack Bennett, my feelings were not hurt, but they could have been had that happened ten years ago.
I have never figured out why people have a need to act so superior because someone else doesn't know what they know. Not true. I do know why they do it - they do it because they have a need to be right and they get a boost to their ego if they know something that someone else doesn't - how bazaar is that?
In Ontario it is no different - actually I often felt somewhat bruised by others' reactions when I honestly declared that I didn't know something or someone. On first impulse, without thinking, I admit my ignorance. I notice that I put myself down quite often with "oh how clever you are...I'm not that smart or quick thinking." And guess what, when I do that my friends usually feel quite comfortable pointing out my shortcomings.
A frequent one here in Vancouver is, "you don't have a very good sense of direction do you." Now that one really gets me. No kidding, in Toronto, the city of my birth, as a real estate agent I had a gift for finding my way - it was easy because I automatically used the Lake as my point of reference, but even without even knowing which direction the Lake was - I seemed to know instinctively. Admittedly, when I travelled west to locations around the Lake, the directions became more difficult - because the Lake was now East or even North as I drove around it to Niagara Falls.
In Vancouver, the mountains are to the north - easy - as long as I know where they are:)
Anyway, another difference between the BCers the Ontarians - is their attitudes. In Ontario a person with a need to know seems more aggressive than the BCers.
When the salesman at Atkins and Grainger was surprised that I had never heard the nickname, Wack Bennett, my feelings were not hurt, but they could have been had that happened ten years ago.
I have never figured out why people have a need to act so superior because someone else doesn't know what they know. Not true. I do know why they do it - they do it because they have a need to be right and they get a boost to their ego if they know something that someone else doesn't - how bazaar is that?
In Ontario it is no different - actually I often felt somewhat bruised by others' reactions when I honestly declared that I didn't know something or someone. On first impulse, without thinking, I admit my ignorance. I notice that I put myself down quite often with "oh how clever you are...I'm not that smart or quick thinking." And guess what, when I do that my friends usually feel quite comfortable pointing out my shortcomings.
A frequent one here in Vancouver is, "you don't have a very good sense of direction do you." Now that one really gets me. No kidding, in Toronto, the city of my birth, as a real estate agent I had a gift for finding my way - it was easy because I automatically used the Lake as my point of reference, but even without even knowing which direction the Lake was - I seemed to know instinctively. Admittedly, when I travelled west to locations around the Lake, the directions became more difficult - because the Lake was now East or even North as I drove around it to Niagara Falls.
In Vancouver, the mountains are to the north - easy - as long as I know where they are:)
Anyway, another difference between the BCers the Ontarians - is their attitudes. In Ontario a person with a need to know seems more aggressive than the BCers.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Evolution of Bonobos to Human Beings
How far removed are human beings from Bonobos?
Bonobos are apes - the bonobo shares more than 98 percent of our genetic profile, making it as close to a human as, say, a fox is to a dog - says scientist, Frans B. M. de Waal, http://songweaver.com/info/bonobos.html.
My interest in Bonobos arises from my curiosity about sexuality in men and women - particularly men.
I learned about sexual tension early in my life. In the bedroom next to mine, I frequently overheard my mother crying over her suspicions and chastising my father for being with other women. Without understanding the sexual intimacy between my parents, I was aware that my mother was blocking affection from my father.
The topic of sex was taboo in our Canadian household as I suspect that it was in most families in the 40s and continues to be so even now in 2010. My mother and father never even used the word "sex" in front of my sister and me. Nor did they use proper language to describe body parts. In fact my mother covered herself up if I, her eldest daughter, suddenly surprised her in her bedroom while she was dressing.
Perhaps my mother is laughing now at how ridiculous we all are in this human form on this planet earth. And maybe she is applauding me for finally going out on a limb - another limb - to delve into "taboos".
My natural curiosity drives me and questions even the idea of taboos. How can anything be wrong and forbidden?
I love Rumi, "Out there beyond the ideas of wrong doings and right doings is a field, I'll meet you there." How can anything be wrong or right - everything just is.
To say that my entire life was destroyed because of society's bazaar attitude toward sexuality is a huge understatement.
In fact, how strange is it that I am only now in my sunset years exploring sexuality and coming to the realization that humanity in general has been deceived by "religious zealots", and philosophers, and royalty whose very devious intentions to control mankind by oppressing sexuality wreaked havoc on the entire planet.
Of course I could be dead wrong about that, but this is the beginning of my research to uncover what the hell went wrong with human beings that caused me to miss out on the magnificent experience of sexual freedom.
Why is sex still taboo? You might say well, it isn't any more. You can find all the sex you want on the internet.
If sex has risen to a new level of acceptance why are there still advocates for monogamy.
Examine the sexual patterns of Bonobos:
What happened way back in time to crush our natural sexual expression? The result of trying to crush mother nature is that she always manages to escape from the bondage imposed on her. Man simply cannot keep what is natural from having its way and what has been oppressed escapes in unpleasant ways.
I suggest that aggression is the result of sexual oppression - war is the result of sexually frustrated human beings - mostly males.
See how Bonobos deal with aggression and conflict...
During reconciliations, bonobos use the same sexual repertoire as they do during feeding time. Based on an analysis of many such incidents, my study yielded the first solid evidence for sexual behavior as a mechanism to overcome aggression. Not that this function is absent in other animals--or in humans, for that matter--but the art of sexual reconciliation may well have reached its evolutionary peak in the bonobo. For these animals, sexual behavior is indistinguishable from social behavior. Given its peacemaking and appeasement functions, it is not surprising that sex among bonobos occurs in so many different partner combinations, including between juveniles and adults. The need for peaceful coexistence is obviously not restricted to adult heterosexual pairs.
Bonobos are apes - the bonobo shares more than 98 percent of our genetic profile, making it as close to a human as, say, a fox is to a dog - says scientist, Frans B. M. de Waal, http://songweaver.com/info/bonobos.html.
My interest in Bonobos arises from my curiosity about sexuality in men and women - particularly men.
I learned about sexual tension early in my life. In the bedroom next to mine, I frequently overheard my mother crying over her suspicions and chastising my father for being with other women. Without understanding the sexual intimacy between my parents, I was aware that my mother was blocking affection from my father.
The topic of sex was taboo in our Canadian household as I suspect that it was in most families in the 40s and continues to be so even now in 2010. My mother and father never even used the word "sex" in front of my sister and me. Nor did they use proper language to describe body parts. In fact my mother covered herself up if I, her eldest daughter, suddenly surprised her in her bedroom while she was dressing.
Perhaps my mother is laughing now at how ridiculous we all are in this human form on this planet earth. And maybe she is applauding me for finally going out on a limb - another limb - to delve into "taboos".
My natural curiosity drives me and questions even the idea of taboos. How can anything be wrong and forbidden?
I love Rumi, "Out there beyond the ideas of wrong doings and right doings is a field, I'll meet you there." How can anything be wrong or right - everything just is.
To say that my entire life was destroyed because of society's bazaar attitude toward sexuality is a huge understatement.
In fact, how strange is it that I am only now in my sunset years exploring sexuality and coming to the realization that humanity in general has been deceived by "religious zealots", and philosophers, and royalty whose very devious intentions to control mankind by oppressing sexuality wreaked havoc on the entire planet.
Of course I could be dead wrong about that, but this is the beginning of my research to uncover what the hell went wrong with human beings that caused me to miss out on the magnificent experience of sexual freedom.
Why is sex still taboo? You might say well, it isn't any more. You can find all the sex you want on the internet.
If sex has risen to a new level of acceptance why are there still advocates for monogamy.
Examine the sexual patterns of Bonobos:
First, anything, not just food, that arouses the interest of more than one bonobo at a time tends to result in sexual contact. If two bonobos approach a cardboard box thrown into their enclosure, they will briefly mount each other before playing with the box. Such situations lead to squabbles in most other species. But bonobos are quite tolerant, perhaps because they use sex to divert attention and to diffuse tension.
Second, bonobo sex often occurs in aggressive contexts totally unrelated to food. A jealous male might chase another away from a female, after which the two males reunite and engage in scrotal rubbing. Or after a female hits a juvenile, the latter's mother may lunge at the aggressor, an action that is immediately followed by genital rubbing between the two adults.
What happened way back in time to crush our natural sexual expression? The result of trying to crush mother nature is that she always manages to escape from the bondage imposed on her. Man simply cannot keep what is natural from having its way and what has been oppressed escapes in unpleasant ways.
I suggest that aggression is the result of sexual oppression - war is the result of sexually frustrated human beings - mostly males.
See how Bonobos deal with aggression and conflict...
During reconciliations, bonobos use the same sexual repertoire as they do during feeding time. Based on an analysis of many such incidents, my study yielded the first solid evidence for sexual behavior as a mechanism to overcome aggression. Not that this function is absent in other animals--or in humans, for that matter--but the art of sexual reconciliation may well have reached its evolutionary peak in the bonobo. For these animals, sexual behavior is indistinguishable from social behavior. Given its peacemaking and appeasement functions, it is not surprising that sex among bonobos occurs in so many different partner combinations, including between juveniles and adults. The need for peaceful coexistence is obviously not restricted to adult heterosexual pairs.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thoughts about the silence of sex taboos
Questions are pouring into my mind - my curiosity is having a picnic - is that my ego - of course it is because the highest power for good has no questions.
It knows all there is to know that is important for spiritual growth - and there is nothing more important than spiritual growth for we are nothing but spirit with a physical body for the convenience of playing out our drama on this planet in this lifetime.
Q. For most of my adult life (I am repeating myself) I have wondered why sex is such a taboo activity and therefore topic of discussion.
Q. Why is incest so rampant?
Q. Why do fathers and mothers molest young children?
While I am asking these questions, I am doing my best to remain consciously alert and aware of how my body is feeling and what thoughts are trying to surface but somehow seem to be thwarted as they begin to bubble up in my mind.
Fascinating. My mind has an automatic censor trigger - no kidding - taboo thoughts are blocked as they try to manifest in my mind. But I know that I have control over my mind so I will do my best to allow all thoughts to manifest. It is important for my research.
My research is about sexuality and why human beings everywhere have been mislead and by allowing our natural urges to be denied we have disabled a major aspect of our physical and spiritual being.
How could something so major to our human evolution have been allowed to destroyed the very essence of who and what we are.
I feel incensed and am determined to do everything I can to help humanity to overcome that destructive force.
We are so brainwashed as to be unconscious about our imprisonment. For years I was aware of feeling that I was being held captive behind prison bars.
I thought that psychotherapy and my latest experiences with meditation had opened the door and that I had walked out to freedom.
Fooled again.
But not for long. Even with the benefits of meditation and my understanding and awareness of EGO holding me unconscious - when it comes to sexuality, I am still a prisoner.
The other day when my friend Mataji Eleanor stayed over with me on her way to a spiritual retreat in Portland, Oregon, she invited me to choose one card from a deck of them with a question to the Universe. My question as it always is - actually it is more of a request - was to show me what is the next step on my quest for enlightenment. What do I need to know to move forward and upward?
Well as usual, the Universe guided me to a new book that has been released called Sex at Dawn. I wrote about it yesterday and did not finish the post.
The website that I found in my Google search for the meaning of love, that became statement, "prehistoric peace without war", was Dr. Susan Block.
She was promoting Christopher Ryan's new book and includes a long audio interview with him that aroused my excited curiosity as well as my sexual urges.
I quickly emailed the url to Tommy - who must have been very surprised to have me recommending such a website that he had not even seen yet. I was not aware at the time that Dr. Block's site is a porn site ( a so-called porn site) but when I returned to the site sure enough I had missed the very obvious explicit sex photographs in the left margin ???????
Anyway next came new information about Bonobos - apes that have existed for millions of years - that live in communities of no more than 150 members (Tipping Point recommends that size of community as being completely harmonious). These apes are remarkably close to human beings in many ways. Christopher was particularly interested and writes about their sexuality. These marvelous creatures thrive on open sexual relationships. They live harmoniously together and act out their sexual urges whenever and wherever they choose. No sexual taboos exist within this species.
I will read this book and even buy it because I do believe this is my next step toward freedom.
So many questions...
Q. When did the evolution from apes to homo sapiens change sexual freedom?
Before I go on with the questions - last night Trevor took his mom, Bernice and I to the Giggle Dam Club in Port Coquitlam to celebrate Bernice's 70th birthday. What a blast that was - very worth the $50 I was going to pay to join them - "was going to pay" because it turned out to be a free evening including dinner and drinks. The owners are friends of Trevor.
After the show while parked outside Bernice's apt. Trevor shared about he and Monika's decision to split up - to end their marriage, or to change it - still not carved in stone. The reason they are breaking up is that Trevor wants to move out of their monogamous relationship - and Monika can't agree to follow suit.
Co-incidentally I am evolving with regard to my ideas about open relationship and sexuality and I shared this with Trevor - naming Tommy as my current beau and teacher on my new adventure. Bernice and Trevor know Tommy.
As we were talking, I had a very funny visual of me showing up at the Tantric event that is happening on Oct 29th in North Van. I shared it with them - that Tommy has invited me to attend a Tantric event and it would be a riot if Trevor showed up at the same event - Trevor's grin stretched across his face and his face may have even turned red (it was too dark to see) but he laughed and said he was registered to attend the even and we talked about that for a while. In the end Trev said that he would be OK if I showed up but he would not be practicing the tantric touching exercises with me. How bazaar is that - a step son and his step mom attending the same sexually free event - sounds like a Greek mythology - or a scene from a historical novel.
It is definitely shaking my foundations.
It knows all there is to know that is important for spiritual growth - and there is nothing more important than spiritual growth for we are nothing but spirit with a physical body for the convenience of playing out our drama on this planet in this lifetime.
Q. For most of my adult life (I am repeating myself) I have wondered why sex is such a taboo activity and therefore topic of discussion.
Q. Why is incest so rampant?
Q. Why do fathers and mothers molest young children?
While I am asking these questions, I am doing my best to remain consciously alert and aware of how my body is feeling and what thoughts are trying to surface but somehow seem to be thwarted as they begin to bubble up in my mind.
Fascinating. My mind has an automatic censor trigger - no kidding - taboo thoughts are blocked as they try to manifest in my mind. But I know that I have control over my mind so I will do my best to allow all thoughts to manifest. It is important for my research.
My research is about sexuality and why human beings everywhere have been mislead and by allowing our natural urges to be denied we have disabled a major aspect of our physical and spiritual being.
How could something so major to our human evolution have been allowed to destroyed the very essence of who and what we are.
I feel incensed and am determined to do everything I can to help humanity to overcome that destructive force.
We are so brainwashed as to be unconscious about our imprisonment. For years I was aware of feeling that I was being held captive behind prison bars.
I thought that psychotherapy and my latest experiences with meditation had opened the door and that I had walked out to freedom.
Fooled again.
But not for long. Even with the benefits of meditation and my understanding and awareness of EGO holding me unconscious - when it comes to sexuality, I am still a prisoner.
The other day when my friend Mataji Eleanor stayed over with me on her way to a spiritual retreat in Portland, Oregon, she invited me to choose one card from a deck of them with a question to the Universe. My question as it always is - actually it is more of a request - was to show me what is the next step on my quest for enlightenment. What do I need to know to move forward and upward?
Well as usual, the Universe guided me to a new book that has been released called Sex at Dawn. I wrote about it yesterday and did not finish the post.
The website that I found in my Google search for the meaning of love, that became statement, "prehistoric peace without war", was Dr. Susan Block.
She was promoting Christopher Ryan's new book and includes a long audio interview with him that aroused my excited curiosity as well as my sexual urges.
I quickly emailed the url to Tommy - who must have been very surprised to have me recommending such a website that he had not even seen yet. I was not aware at the time that Dr. Block's site is a porn site ( a so-called porn site) but when I returned to the site sure enough I had missed the very obvious explicit sex photographs in the left margin ???????
Anyway next came new information about Bonobos - apes that have existed for millions of years - that live in communities of no more than 150 members (Tipping Point recommends that size of community as being completely harmonious). These apes are remarkably close to human beings in many ways. Christopher was particularly interested and writes about their sexuality. These marvelous creatures thrive on open sexual relationships. They live harmoniously together and act out their sexual urges whenever and wherever they choose. No sexual taboos exist within this species.
I will read this book and even buy it because I do believe this is my next step toward freedom.
So many questions...
Q. When did the evolution from apes to homo sapiens change sexual freedom?
Before I go on with the questions - last night Trevor took his mom, Bernice and I to the Giggle Dam Club in Port Coquitlam to celebrate Bernice's 70th birthday. What a blast that was - very worth the $50 I was going to pay to join them - "was going to pay" because it turned out to be a free evening including dinner and drinks. The owners are friends of Trevor.
After the show while parked outside Bernice's apt. Trevor shared about he and Monika's decision to split up - to end their marriage, or to change it - still not carved in stone. The reason they are breaking up is that Trevor wants to move out of their monogamous relationship - and Monika can't agree to follow suit.
Co-incidentally I am evolving with regard to my ideas about open relationship and sexuality and I shared this with Trevor - naming Tommy as my current beau and teacher on my new adventure. Bernice and Trevor know Tommy.
As we were talking, I had a very funny visual of me showing up at the Tantric event that is happening on Oct 29th in North Van. I shared it with them - that Tommy has invited me to attend a Tantric event and it would be a riot if Trevor showed up at the same event - Trevor's grin stretched across his face and his face may have even turned red (it was too dark to see) but he laughed and said he was registered to attend the even and we talked about that for a while. In the end Trev said that he would be OK if I showed up but he would not be practicing the tantric touching exercises with me. How bazaar is that - a step son and his step mom attending the same sexually free event - sounds like a Greek mythology - or a scene from a historical novel.
It is definitely shaking my foundations.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Exercise energizes
Sometimes I plum forget the effects of exercising.
I haven't danced Tango since New Years Eve because I was in so much pain for most of that evening that I haven't had the desire to do that to myself again.
But I did dance ballroom with Tony in Toronto at the 30-Up club completely without pain. I was just so out of shape that I could hardly breath after one dance. The miracle was that my feet did not hurt so I am so looking forward to returning to TO just to dance again.
So, my plan is to exercise seriously and get fit so that I can dance for the whole evening, or at least as long as my feet don't hurt.
I joined the Riley Park Community Centre with a three month leisure pass that will expire in December. I have attended two classes of exercise, both of which are just what I need - one was a mild boot camp - briskly walking around the gym getting up my heart beat, stopping and starting, stepping over apparatus placed stragically so that we walk two steps and step up for one and walk for two, etc. Then we walked around them, we walked backwards, we used balls to exercise our legs - we used light weights while walking and while exercising against the wall - then we ended with mat work.
The next class was at 7:00 am, this morning. It was core work - very gentle balancing on balls, then holding the balls while balancing on one leg, - we walked outside around the block twice - exactly what I need.
I plan to do some aqua fit classes - they have them at the new fitness centre just across the street from the old Riley Park Centre. Aqua fit is available every day for an hour at 9:30 am. I will try to fit in at least one or two per week.
Am I overdoing the fitness thing? I don't think so - after all I have nothing else to do and I certainly need to get fit.
Went to Deep Cove with Bernice this afternoon and I had so much energy I couldn't sit still - I felt light and energetic - it was wonderful.
I am also planning to go Salsa dancing - which means I will attract a friend to go with me since I would rather go with someone than go alone.
I would also like to find a friend to go ballroom dancing with. Let's see if the Universe provides me with that too - it could be male or female. It could be just one person who loves to dance and is game to try out all kinds of dancing.
Deep Cove is so beautiful - it is one of my favourite places to go and we usually have an early dinner -we split a BLT with avocado and lettuce sandwich and french fries at the Bistro at the corner of the main street - we always sit outside and to day was warm and sunny.
I haven't danced Tango since New Years Eve because I was in so much pain for most of that evening that I haven't had the desire to do that to myself again.
But I did dance ballroom with Tony in Toronto at the 30-Up club completely without pain. I was just so out of shape that I could hardly breath after one dance. The miracle was that my feet did not hurt so I am so looking forward to returning to TO just to dance again.
So, my plan is to exercise seriously and get fit so that I can dance for the whole evening, or at least as long as my feet don't hurt.
I joined the Riley Park Community Centre with a three month leisure pass that will expire in December. I have attended two classes of exercise, both of which are just what I need - one was a mild boot camp - briskly walking around the gym getting up my heart beat, stopping and starting, stepping over apparatus placed stragically so that we walk two steps and step up for one and walk for two, etc. Then we walked around them, we walked backwards, we used balls to exercise our legs - we used light weights while walking and while exercising against the wall - then we ended with mat work.
The next class was at 7:00 am, this morning. It was core work - very gentle balancing on balls, then holding the balls while balancing on one leg, - we walked outside around the block twice - exactly what I need.
I plan to do some aqua fit classes - they have them at the new fitness centre just across the street from the old Riley Park Centre. Aqua fit is available every day for an hour at 9:30 am. I will try to fit in at least one or two per week.
Am I overdoing the fitness thing? I don't think so - after all I have nothing else to do and I certainly need to get fit.
Went to Deep Cove with Bernice this afternoon and I had so much energy I couldn't sit still - I felt light and energetic - it was wonderful.
I am also planning to go Salsa dancing - which means I will attract a friend to go with me since I would rather go with someone than go alone.
I would also like to find a friend to go ballroom dancing with. Let's see if the Universe provides me with that too - it could be male or female. It could be just one person who loves to dance and is game to try out all kinds of dancing.
Deep Cove is so beautiful - it is one of my favourite places to go and we usually have an early dinner -we split a BLT with avocado and lettuce sandwich and french fries at the Bistro at the corner of the main street - we always sit outside and to day was warm and sunny.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Premier Gordon Campbell at Bilderberg meeting
An unsent letter to Prime Minister Gordon Campbell
Re: Global & Mail, Aug 8, 2010. Gordon Campbell’s trip to elite Bilderberger conference cost B.C. thousands. Author, Ian Bailey
Dear Mr. Campbell
Oh my oh my! Aren't you quite a success! Yo Mama will be proud.
Being invited to a prestigious Bilderberg meeting with the most elite leaders in the world - WOW! You must feel like you have been invited to the KING's court.
But BEWARE, MR. CAMPBELL! Heads roll in places like that! And yours is about to roll in your little Kingdom of BC.
And hopefully it will happen before you can do much more damage to your citizens.
Mr. Campbell, please explain the benefits to BC citizens of your attendance at the Bilderberg Meeting in Spain in June, 2010.
My concerns about your attendance there are multi-fold.
1. Why would a meeting about global matters have to be ultra secret? "Ultra-secret" anything sounds the alarms and feeds conspiracy-minded folks ammunition to delve deeply behind the scenes and to allow their imaginations to run wild and dangerously.
2. Would the presence of Larry Summers be the reason for secrecy? His reputation reeks of slimy association with Milton Friedman Chicago Boys.
3. Twenty eight countries represented? What happened to all the rest of the countries on this planet?
Discussions of great global importance should not be limited to just a few select countries. Or perhaps those countries not in attendance are demonstrating high moral standards and ethics and would not be caught dead with the likes of Kissinger and Summers.
Mr Campbell, your record to date is very tarnished. Lying and secrecy just add a few more nails in your coffin. I shudder to think of what destruction you can wreak on BC citizens until your term is up.
Although the thought of spending tax payers dollars for unnecessary, useless and wasteful purposes like Recalls sickens me. If you would just do the right thing with the HST - for example - and just stop it - whether or not you think it will be good for BC economy - 700,000 people of BC obviously don't give a damn about that - they see it as helping big business and big pharma - HELLO!
Canada has no respect and offers no place in the government for leaders who are more interested in "for profit" "free trade" kinds of economics. While they sound practical and logical, somewhere along the line they go awry - they eliminate the middle class - those on who our economy depends. Why would you threaten that group of people? Oh ya! Big Business and Big Pharma!!!!!!
How dare you ignore the plight of so many citizens whose tax dollars are allowing you to indulge your pleasures and addictions.
In your own backyard, on the streets of Vancouver, people suffering from mental illness are dying from drug related disease.
Homeless people are not all alike - yes there are some who choose to remain victims of society - but wake up Mr. Campbell. There are those who have made mistakes in their lives and just need a supporting hand to assist them out of their self-imposed gutter.
And yet you ignore them. Your priorities are warped.
Of course the economy is important - an economy that supports the rich on the backs of the poor is a disgrace.
A gambling casino in downtown Vancouver can hardly be called a priority. Oh Ya! It would bring in a ton of money and then you could put in the much needed mental health facility - but it would have to be very large for those addicted gamblers who will soon require medical mental health attention to overcome their addictions.
Education can not be considered a secondary priority - to downgrade our education system is to spit in the face of BC citizens. It is to admit that you are mentally challenged yourself.
Mr. Campbell what could you possibly gain by dumbing BC citizens?
More money in your pocket perhaps?
Frankly I find it shocking and disappointing that big pharma and big business cannot see their way clear to re-distribute their wealth to support the citizens of Canada and BC.
How ridiculous is that? Yes, naive it is. Greed is an adiction - the more money one has, the more money one wants. The more alcohol one consumes the more one craves.
Addictions abound in human beings. But hopefully our leaders' addictions do not impair their minds.
Ooops! Forgot about Gordon Campbell's "drunk driving" charges.
A Premier of a province in Canada who gets charged with drunk driving demonstrates a fucked up mind.
Should he remain our leader?
Re: Global & Mail, Aug 8, 2010. Gordon Campbell’s trip to elite Bilderberger conference cost B.C. thousands. Author, Ian Bailey
Dear Mr. Campbell
Oh my oh my! Aren't you quite a success! Yo Mama will be proud.
Being invited to a prestigious Bilderberg meeting with the most elite leaders in the world - WOW! You must feel like you have been invited to the KING's court.
But BEWARE, MR. CAMPBELL! Heads roll in places like that! And yours is about to roll in your little Kingdom of BC.
And hopefully it will happen before you can do much more damage to your citizens.
Mr. Campbell, please explain the benefits to BC citizens of your attendance at the Bilderberg Meeting in Spain in June, 2010.
My concerns about your attendance there are multi-fold.
1. Why would a meeting about global matters have to be ultra secret? "Ultra-secret" anything sounds the alarms and feeds conspiracy-minded folks ammunition to delve deeply behind the scenes and to allow their imaginations to run wild and dangerously.
2. Would the presence of Larry Summers be the reason for secrecy? His reputation reeks of slimy association with Milton Friedman Chicago Boys.
3. Twenty eight countries represented? What happened to all the rest of the countries on this planet?
Discussions of great global importance should not be limited to just a few select countries. Or perhaps those countries not in attendance are demonstrating high moral standards and ethics and would not be caught dead with the likes of Kissinger and Summers.
Mr Campbell, your record to date is very tarnished. Lying and secrecy just add a few more nails in your coffin. I shudder to think of what destruction you can wreak on BC citizens until your term is up.
Although the thought of spending tax payers dollars for unnecessary, useless and wasteful purposes like Recalls sickens me. If you would just do the right thing with the HST - for example - and just stop it - whether or not you think it will be good for BC economy - 700,000 people of BC obviously don't give a damn about that - they see it as helping big business and big pharma - HELLO!
Canada has no respect and offers no place in the government for leaders who are more interested in "for profit" "free trade" kinds of economics. While they sound practical and logical, somewhere along the line they go awry - they eliminate the middle class - those on who our economy depends. Why would you threaten that group of people? Oh ya! Big Business and Big Pharma!!!!!!
How dare you ignore the plight of so many citizens whose tax dollars are allowing you to indulge your pleasures and addictions.
In your own backyard, on the streets of Vancouver, people suffering from mental illness are dying from drug related disease.
Homeless people are not all alike - yes there are some who choose to remain victims of society - but wake up Mr. Campbell. There are those who have made mistakes in their lives and just need a supporting hand to assist them out of their self-imposed gutter.
And yet you ignore them. Your priorities are warped.
Of course the economy is important - an economy that supports the rich on the backs of the poor is a disgrace.
A gambling casino in downtown Vancouver can hardly be called a priority. Oh Ya! It would bring in a ton of money and then you could put in the much needed mental health facility - but it would have to be very large for those addicted gamblers who will soon require medical mental health attention to overcome their addictions.
Education can not be considered a secondary priority - to downgrade our education system is to spit in the face of BC citizens. It is to admit that you are mentally challenged yourself.
Mr. Campbell what could you possibly gain by dumbing BC citizens?
More money in your pocket perhaps?
Frankly I find it shocking and disappointing that big pharma and big business cannot see their way clear to re-distribute their wealth to support the citizens of Canada and BC.
How ridiculous is that? Yes, naive it is. Greed is an adiction - the more money one has, the more money one wants. The more alcohol one consumes the more one craves.
Addictions abound in human beings. But hopefully our leaders' addictions do not impair their minds.
Ooops! Forgot about Gordon Campbell's "drunk driving" charges.
A Premier of a province in Canada who gets charged with drunk driving demonstrates a fucked up mind.
Should he remain our leader?
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Thoughts about todays news
Actress Mia Farrow is expected to testify next week at the war crimes trial of Charles Taylor, the former president of Liberia who prosecutors allege funded a brutal civil war using blood diamonds.
Writing my thoughts helps me to understand what is going on. Naomi Klein's book, Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism is my most recent source of information. Other sources of information are conspiracy theory types of videos I have watched over the past ten years or so. Linda McQuaig's book, Holding the Bully's Coat, is another source of my education.
What does it matter how a "bloody" war is funded? Except perhaps to catch the criminals who create it and benefit from it.
Currency of all kinds has been used to fund wars which are always "bloody" for many thousands of years. Blackmail and scare tactics are used to start wars too!
What is important is the "creators" and the "planners" of war should be punished for their "war crimes". Wars are also funded by taxpayers, either directly or indirectly in the guise of taxes to improve and enhance citizens lifestyles.
Canadian taxpayers are paying for the Canadian armed forces to support the war in Afghanistan today - or am I not seeing things clearly here. Call it what you like - if soldiers are involved, the citizens of country they defend are paying for their weapons with their hard earned money and their lives.
Was Charles Taylor acting on the advice of Milton Friedman's Chicago Boys privatize public utilities using the "shock doctrine?"
If Naomi Klein investigated these so called war crimes in Liberia, is it possible that she would reveal that the same instigators that deceived and devastated the governments of Chile, Argentina, Russia, and other countries were none other than Friedman's favoured economic students who were nothing better than criminals?
Does this gang of Friedmanians go unpunished for the millions of human beings who were killed, tortured, forced into abject poverty while they opened trade markets to the rest of the world so a few elite individuals got richer and richer?
And what of the creators of wars that distract citizens while implementing policies and procedures designed to introduce free trade and privatize public utilities and institutions all for the purpose of profit? The procedures used were, and maybe even are even today, equal to the so called war crimes described at the trial of Charles Taylor.
What is preventing the law enforcers from punishing the Chicago Boys? They are not hard to find - they are very active today on Wall Street and in the US government and likely in governments around the world today.
Follow Naomi Klein and you will discover these criminals are controlling this planet. How integrated they are in Canada, I don't know. Does attendance at the Bilderberg meetings indicate suspicious activity that could result in unfavourable forms of government? If so, then Gordon Campbell and Peter Mansbridge who attended the gathering in Spain this spring should be carefully watched. Anything that is held in secret from the media and the citizens of the world, must be regarded as suspicious and perhaps dangerous.
But what about the necessary secret strategic planning of war - well of course if one is engaging in war that is designed to overtake another, yes secret strategies are necessary. BUT without war there would be no need for secrecy would there?
I know I am naive, but I want human beings to live in peace and harmony. Is it possible? When we read history it would seem not.
But who wrote the history? The people involved in the wars. Is that the majority of people on this planet - perhaps not!
If the majority of people want Peace, then surely we should be able to convince others who are just acting out of fear.
Writing my thoughts helps me to understand what is going on. Naomi Klein's book, Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism is my most recent source of information. Other sources of information are conspiracy theory types of videos I have watched over the past ten years or so. Linda McQuaig's book, Holding the Bully's Coat, is another source of my education.
What does it matter how a "bloody" war is funded? Except perhaps to catch the criminals who create it and benefit from it.
Currency of all kinds has been used to fund wars which are always "bloody" for many thousands of years. Blackmail and scare tactics are used to start wars too!
What is important is the "creators" and the "planners" of war should be punished for their "war crimes". Wars are also funded by taxpayers, either directly or indirectly in the guise of taxes to improve and enhance citizens lifestyles.
Canadian taxpayers are paying for the Canadian armed forces to support the war in Afghanistan today - or am I not seeing things clearly here. Call it what you like - if soldiers are involved, the citizens of country they defend are paying for their weapons with their hard earned money and their lives.
Was Charles Taylor acting on the advice of Milton Friedman's Chicago Boys privatize public utilities using the "shock doctrine?"
If Naomi Klein investigated these so called war crimes in Liberia, is it possible that she would reveal that the same instigators that deceived and devastated the governments of Chile, Argentina, Russia, and other countries were none other than Friedman's favoured economic students who were nothing better than criminals?
Does this gang of Friedmanians go unpunished for the millions of human beings who were killed, tortured, forced into abject poverty while they opened trade markets to the rest of the world so a few elite individuals got richer and richer?
And what of the creators of wars that distract citizens while implementing policies and procedures designed to introduce free trade and privatize public utilities and institutions all for the purpose of profit? The procedures used were, and maybe even are even today, equal to the so called war crimes described at the trial of Charles Taylor.
What is preventing the law enforcers from punishing the Chicago Boys? They are not hard to find - they are very active today on Wall Street and in the US government and likely in governments around the world today.
Follow Naomi Klein and you will discover these criminals are controlling this planet. How integrated they are in Canada, I don't know. Does attendance at the Bilderberg meetings indicate suspicious activity that could result in unfavourable forms of government? If so, then Gordon Campbell and Peter Mansbridge who attended the gathering in Spain this spring should be carefully watched. Anything that is held in secret from the media and the citizens of the world, must be regarded as suspicious and perhaps dangerous.
But what about the necessary secret strategic planning of war - well of course if one is engaging in war that is designed to overtake another, yes secret strategies are necessary. BUT without war there would be no need for secrecy would there?
I know I am naive, but I want human beings to live in peace and harmony. Is it possible? When we read history it would seem not.
But who wrote the history? The people involved in the wars. Is that the majority of people on this planet - perhaps not!
If the majority of people want Peace, then surely we should be able to convince others who are just acting out of fear.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Not a blue tooth wireless - a brain disorder
A new friend who happens to be a care giver for people suffering with ADD and Autism, has confirmed that my laughing neighbour is autistic.
After my experience with David Deng, an autistic man in in late teens or early twenties, I am more and more conscious of the folks - can't remember writing about that (memory is also diminishing)
Jo-Ann is a teaching assistant at Eric Hammer High School in the Special Education Department. She spends every day assisting students with these handicaps.
Interesting that I am attracting this into my life these days - and since I have no clue why, I'll look at it all with an attitude of grateful appreciation for an increased awareness.
I have a sense that I also have a mental handicap that I may have had my whole life but it has only become more exaggerated in my senior years. My typing which used to be very fast and very accurate is becoming less and less accurate - but it is probably the result of dyslexia. I am typing my letters in reverse order.
For example if I just type without thinking - not easy now that I am conscious of doing it, my letters will appear in reversed order - it is not because of poor spelling skills - my spelling and grammar has always been very good.
I will just continue to be grateful for all that comes to me and to enjoy peace on demand from my meditation.
After my experience with David Deng, an autistic man in in late teens or early twenties, I am more and more conscious of the folks - can't remember writing about that (memory is also diminishing)
Jo-Ann is a teaching assistant at Eric Hammer High School in the Special Education Department. She spends every day assisting students with these handicaps.
Interesting that I am attracting this into my life these days - and since I have no clue why, I'll look at it all with an attitude of grateful appreciation for an increased awareness.
I have a sense that I also have a mental handicap that I may have had my whole life but it has only become more exaggerated in my senior years. My typing which used to be very fast and very accurate is becoming less and less accurate - but it is probably the result of dyslexia. I am typing my letters in reverse order.
For example if I just type without thinking - not easy now that I am conscious of doing it, my letters will appear in reversed order - it is not because of poor spelling skills - my spelling and grammar has always been very good.
I will just continue to be grateful for all that comes to me and to enjoy peace on demand from my meditation.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Hope its a blue tooth wireless
A neighbour has begun demonstrating unusual and strange behaviour. Every so often during the day (I'm a stay at home senior) this young man (25-30 years old) appears on his balcony to have a smoke. That isn't new behaviour.
He has taken to smoking in the alley behind our buildings (we live in side-by-side buildings.)
I am not a nosy busy body old lady - I am fascinated by human behaviour. It comes of an incurable inquiring mind about people and it is a lifetime hobby that morphed into a professional career in personal life coaching, teaching meditation and building a website that offers a self-mastery course.
I find this young man interesting on several accounts. In the 12 months that I have lived in my apartment, I have noticed that the number of cigarettes he smokes in a day has increased considerably. I know that because when I was smoking, before I quit on March 1st, it was my habit to take only three puffs on a cigarette and return to my writing - very short frequent breaks away from my computer. It was rare that we were both out there at the same time.
Nowadays, he appears at least a couple of times in an hour. While I have gained weight since quitting, so has he gained weight while increasing his smoking. That is an unusual consequence of smoking at least for most folks.
This guy has gained so much weight that his walk has become a waddle. When he waddles out into the alley to enjoy his smoke, he stands in the same place almost every time. Before he takes out a cigarette he seems to deliberate for a minute or so, staring down at the pavement beneath his feet.
Then very slowly and deliberately he opens his pack of cigarettes and withdraws one and ever so slowly raises it to his lips. He acts if every movement is a carefully calculated function that requires his 100% attention. Fascinating!
He smokes all of his cigarette without pausing; one puff, inhale, exhale, a puff, inhale exhale - without taking a break to look around - his eyes moving from the ground to the cigarette occasionally.
Now here is why I am writing about this person.
During the last few days his to his already odd behaviour he has added a strange quirk. Frequently my attention is being drawn to the outdoors by a very loud exuberant laughter. At first I wasn't sure whether it was a male or female voice.
Then I discovered the laughter was coming from the smoking man. At first I thought I was mistaken - this quiet deliberate young man laughing out loud - very loudly - with energy that was not characteristic of him?
I did detect a touch of insincerity - but eventually most of the time he was genuinely laughing - often like a child.
He seemed to be alone. I could see no one else around - but I can't see entirely inside his apartment.
Note: I usually sit on my couch when I read and from there I gain a panoramic view of my neighbourhood from my second floor apartment. I am aware that I am also in plain view for people who care to see what I am doing unless I close my vertical blinds.
A woman who shows up in his apartment occasionally had been seen there for a few days recently. I could see her cutting the young man's hair and actively engaging in what may have been tiding up his place.
She was not present during these periods of laughter. I love laughter - I love laughing out loud and do it often while watching comedy or talking on the phone to friends, or even thinking about a past event.
So when I heard and saw this man hilariously laughing, I tried to ascertain the cause of his laughter (without asking him of course - we are not within talking distance.)
I guess I could have yelled to him, but that would have been intrusive - my spying on him is bad enough, but I do live in a glass house - sort of. I have windows on two full walls on my corner apartment so people can see almost everything I do unless my vertical blinds are closed.
Back to the laughter - eventually after these outbursts of laughter - one last night after midnight - I want to assume that he is wearing a wireless blue tooth device that I cannot see from my vantage point.
I sure hope that is the case, because otherwise this young man is loosing his mind. What a fine way to loose it though.
I wish my immediate next door neighbour would follow suit. His unusual behaviour is a long story, but for now suffice to say that his emotional and verbal outbursts are much less pleasurable than laughter.
Norman (I have met him once when I asked him to keep the volume down on his very expensive sound system) has a friend or family member that annoys him - occasionally. The poor gets so annoyed with this person that he ends up screaming at the top of his lungs - SHUT UP! STOP IT! SHUT UP!
I have on occasion heard a very quiet female voice through our very thin adjoining wall - so I assume he has a visitor - whom I have never encountered in the hall. Last night his outburst around midnight was somewhat quieter.
But oh my!
Yes, it was a full moon the night before last - and as we all know a full moon brings out the strangest behaviour in human beings.
Blessings to all of my neighbours - especially the one on the main floor one apartment over from my immediate neighbour beneath me. I heard a few very strange noises - like a man screaming - the night before last.
About an hour later I heard the loud voice of a policeman demanding a door to be opened - then a loud pounding on the patio door. The policeman sounded furious as he told the tenant to open the door to the police or get his door kicked in. When I 'peeked' out of my window and saw a policeman walking around the property.
Living in this apartment building provides great material for a book, or a TV sit com.
He has taken to smoking in the alley behind our buildings (we live in side-by-side buildings.)
I am not a nosy busy body old lady - I am fascinated by human behaviour. It comes of an incurable inquiring mind about people and it is a lifetime hobby that morphed into a professional career in personal life coaching, teaching meditation and building a website that offers a self-mastery course.
I find this young man interesting on several accounts. In the 12 months that I have lived in my apartment, I have noticed that the number of cigarettes he smokes in a day has increased considerably. I know that because when I was smoking, before I quit on March 1st, it was my habit to take only three puffs on a cigarette and return to my writing - very short frequent breaks away from my computer. It was rare that we were both out there at the same time.
Nowadays, he appears at least a couple of times in an hour. While I have gained weight since quitting, so has he gained weight while increasing his smoking. That is an unusual consequence of smoking at least for most folks.
This guy has gained so much weight that his walk has become a waddle. When he waddles out into the alley to enjoy his smoke, he stands in the same place almost every time. Before he takes out a cigarette he seems to deliberate for a minute or so, staring down at the pavement beneath his feet.
Then very slowly and deliberately he opens his pack of cigarettes and withdraws one and ever so slowly raises it to his lips. He acts if every movement is a carefully calculated function that requires his 100% attention. Fascinating!
He smokes all of his cigarette without pausing; one puff, inhale, exhale, a puff, inhale exhale - without taking a break to look around - his eyes moving from the ground to the cigarette occasionally.
Now here is why I am writing about this person.
During the last few days his to his already odd behaviour he has added a strange quirk. Frequently my attention is being drawn to the outdoors by a very loud exuberant laughter. At first I wasn't sure whether it was a male or female voice.
Then I discovered the laughter was coming from the smoking man. At first I thought I was mistaken - this quiet deliberate young man laughing out loud - very loudly - with energy that was not characteristic of him?
I did detect a touch of insincerity - but eventually most of the time he was genuinely laughing - often like a child.
He seemed to be alone. I could see no one else around - but I can't see entirely inside his apartment.
Note: I usually sit on my couch when I read and from there I gain a panoramic view of my neighbourhood from my second floor apartment. I am aware that I am also in plain view for people who care to see what I am doing unless I close my vertical blinds.
A woman who shows up in his apartment occasionally had been seen there for a few days recently. I could see her cutting the young man's hair and actively engaging in what may have been tiding up his place.
She was not present during these periods of laughter. I love laughter - I love laughing out loud and do it often while watching comedy or talking on the phone to friends, or even thinking about a past event.
So when I heard and saw this man hilariously laughing, I tried to ascertain the cause of his laughter (without asking him of course - we are not within talking distance.)
I guess I could have yelled to him, but that would have been intrusive - my spying on him is bad enough, but I do live in a glass house - sort of. I have windows on two full walls on my corner apartment so people can see almost everything I do unless my vertical blinds are closed.
Back to the laughter - eventually after these outbursts of laughter - one last night after midnight - I want to assume that he is wearing a wireless blue tooth device that I cannot see from my vantage point.
I sure hope that is the case, because otherwise this young man is loosing his mind. What a fine way to loose it though.
I wish my immediate next door neighbour would follow suit. His unusual behaviour is a long story, but for now suffice to say that his emotional and verbal outbursts are much less pleasurable than laughter.
Norman (I have met him once when I asked him to keep the volume down on his very expensive sound system) has a friend or family member that annoys him - occasionally. The poor gets so annoyed with this person that he ends up screaming at the top of his lungs - SHUT UP! STOP IT! SHUT UP!
I have on occasion heard a very quiet female voice through our very thin adjoining wall - so I assume he has a visitor - whom I have never encountered in the hall. Last night his outburst around midnight was somewhat quieter.
But oh my!
Yes, it was a full moon the night before last - and as we all know a full moon brings out the strangest behaviour in human beings.
Blessings to all of my neighbours - especially the one on the main floor one apartment over from my immediate neighbour beneath me. I heard a few very strange noises - like a man screaming - the night before last.
About an hour later I heard the loud voice of a policeman demanding a door to be opened - then a loud pounding on the patio door. The policeman sounded furious as he told the tenant to open the door to the police or get his door kicked in. When I 'peeked' out of my window and saw a policeman walking around the property.
Living in this apartment building provides great material for a book, or a TV sit com.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Junk Mail
Wow! Talk about easy to do! For over a year now I have felt a touch annoyed every time I emptied my tiny mail box of advertising pamphlets, grocery store advertising, department store advertising, you name it advertising.
I fretted and wondered how I could stop this intrusion.
Then I went to my local post office. The manager did not know the answer but told me to call customer service at Canada Post.
I did and after a very friendly and hilarious conversation with a delightful woman, junk mail will no longer be deposited in my mail box.
Now, I am delighted to say that I may have saved $40 to have my mail held for one month while I am away on vacation.
Imagine paying $40 to stop advertising from overcrowding my mail box.
Now I am looking at the possibility of having my statements from being delivered during my vacation. Making just a few calls may be all that is necessary and it will save the post person the trouble of delivering even the few bills that I receive.
Thank you Canada Post.
I fretted and wondered how I could stop this intrusion.
Then I went to my local post office. The manager did not know the answer but told me to call customer service at Canada Post.
I did and after a very friendly and hilarious conversation with a delightful woman, junk mail will no longer be deposited in my mail box.
Now, I am delighted to say that I may have saved $40 to have my mail held for one month while I am away on vacation.
Imagine paying $40 to stop advertising from overcrowding my mail box.
Now I am looking at the possibility of having my statements from being delivered during my vacation. Making just a few calls may be all that is necessary and it will save the post person the trouble of delivering even the few bills that I receive.
Thank you Canada Post.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Still reading Shock Doctrine
The other day I watched Part I of the new TV series, Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet with Bernice. Near the beginning I realized that I had read the book within the last year and the characters were becoming familiar.
Bernice mentioned "things haven't changed much in the world since the 1100s".
I vaguely agreed with her except for an individuals personal safety. In those days, based on my readings of the Templars and comparing the ordinary folk to my own life, I feel a whole lot more safe to live now than I would have then. I can speak my mind to my friends and even strangers without worrying that I'll have my head chopped off. Of course if I found myself on an elevator with a group of teenage boys smoking, I would hesitate to chastise them for fear of being beat up. So Hmmmmmm! Maybe she has a point.
As I was reading Naomi Klein's writing about Israeli's recent rise to high technology fame, particularly where it applies to security surveillance equipment, Bernice's comments came to mind and began to make a lot of sense.
Naomi's book, Shock Doctrine, the Rise of Disaster Capitalism, reads like a Knight's Templar book by Jack Whyte, except that Jack kept me on the edge of my seat with anticipation and even fear for my favourite characters.
Naomi has woven a few personal experiences and true tragic stories of specific victims of the wars into her historical reporting. She also reveals horrible truths of many recognizable political (both former presidents, the Bushes) and corporate individuals (Larry Summer) who I recognize and who would indeed frighten the daylights out of anyone who learns the truth about them. For some reason my whole being resists what she has to say - so much so that I can only read a few pages at a time before dosing off to sleep.
Perhaps it is too real and too horrid for me to accept as truth. I don't doubt that her information and facts are true - she has them well documented with references. I keep asking for help to understand what I am reading...and ... what about Canada and Canadian politicians and corporate giants? I can't even form the questions, yet.
During the times when wars were a way of life (BC and AD) (as if they aren't today) people enclosed their villages with high stone and concrete walls and wide water filled moats to defend themselves from thieves, murderers, and corrupt insane Royals with blindly loyal knights and armies.
I am happy to say that growing up in the East end of Toronto, in the early 40s we never locked our doors during the day and even sometimes at night while we slept the doors remained unlocked - it was not much on our minds to defend ourselves.
In 70s in the Toronto suburb of North York with my own family, I did not even think of being broken into - it was a rare occurrence in the neighbourhoods I lived in.
However, I do recall when a low income housing complex was being developed within a few blocks of our house. I heard my neighbours express their concerns about leaving toys and bikes out on the street at night. And sure enough one morning when the complex was completely inhabited a bike when missing from our street.
And yes, a search by a few neighbours found the bike down in the new housing development. What a shame! Now we all had to be more conscious and careful of our belongings. That was around 35 years ago - and still there are no gated communities that I am aware of here in Vancouver or in Toronto - gated mansions of the rich and famous, yes, but not yet of communities.
Oh yes, and even the thieves/criminals - members of biker communities board up their windows and barricade them with iron grills to defend themselves from the law enforcers.
South Africa's elite has for many years had gated homes and property with hired security guards. But here is what shocks me.
According to Naomi, since Katrina, American middle class suburban communities are in defense mode. They are erecting walls complete with Israeli security equipment. Who on earth are they defending themselves against? Why it's the poor have-not's - that's who! Hmmmmm! Sounds familiar.
Things they are a-changing back to the way it used to be. That is very scary! Something must be done about it - will be done about it.
There will be no "opportunity" here in Canada. No shock doctrine! Although it is happening as I write - I don't have to just sit here and accept it - I will find a way to bring about a peaceful loving solution and it won't be by hiding behind a virtual wall of defense with the elite of Israel profiting from surveillance equipment.
Bernice mentioned "things haven't changed much in the world since the 1100s".
I vaguely agreed with her except for an individuals personal safety. In those days, based on my readings of the Templars and comparing the ordinary folk to my own life, I feel a whole lot more safe to live now than I would have then. I can speak my mind to my friends and even strangers without worrying that I'll have my head chopped off. Of course if I found myself on an elevator with a group of teenage boys smoking, I would hesitate to chastise them for fear of being beat up. So Hmmmmmm! Maybe she has a point.
As I was reading Naomi Klein's writing about Israeli's recent rise to high technology fame, particularly where it applies to security surveillance equipment, Bernice's comments came to mind and began to make a lot of sense.
Naomi's book, Shock Doctrine, the Rise of Disaster Capitalism, reads like a Knight's Templar book by Jack Whyte, except that Jack kept me on the edge of my seat with anticipation and even fear for my favourite characters.
Naomi has woven a few personal experiences and true tragic stories of specific victims of the wars into her historical reporting. She also reveals horrible truths of many recognizable political (both former presidents, the Bushes) and corporate individuals (Larry Summer) who I recognize and who would indeed frighten the daylights out of anyone who learns the truth about them. For some reason my whole being resists what she has to say - so much so that I can only read a few pages at a time before dosing off to sleep.
Perhaps it is too real and too horrid for me to accept as truth. I don't doubt that her information and facts are true - she has them well documented with references. I keep asking for help to understand what I am reading...and ... what about Canada and Canadian politicians and corporate giants? I can't even form the questions, yet.
During the times when wars were a way of life (BC and AD) (as if they aren't today) people enclosed their villages with high stone and concrete walls and wide water filled moats to defend themselves from thieves, murderers, and corrupt insane Royals with blindly loyal knights and armies.
I am happy to say that growing up in the East end of Toronto, in the early 40s we never locked our doors during the day and even sometimes at night while we slept the doors remained unlocked - it was not much on our minds to defend ourselves.
In 70s in the Toronto suburb of North York with my own family, I did not even think of being broken into - it was a rare occurrence in the neighbourhoods I lived in.
However, I do recall when a low income housing complex was being developed within a few blocks of our house. I heard my neighbours express their concerns about leaving toys and bikes out on the street at night. And sure enough one morning when the complex was completely inhabited a bike when missing from our street.
And yes, a search by a few neighbours found the bike down in the new housing development. What a shame! Now we all had to be more conscious and careful of our belongings. That was around 35 years ago - and still there are no gated communities that I am aware of here in Vancouver or in Toronto - gated mansions of the rich and famous, yes, but not yet of communities.
Oh yes, and even the thieves/criminals - members of biker communities board up their windows and barricade them with iron grills to defend themselves from the law enforcers.
South Africa's elite has for many years had gated homes and property with hired security guards. But here is what shocks me.
According to Naomi, since Katrina, American middle class suburban communities are in defense mode. They are erecting walls complete with Israeli security equipment. Who on earth are they defending themselves against? Why it's the poor have-not's - that's who! Hmmmmm! Sounds familiar.
Things they are a-changing back to the way it used to be. That is very scary! Something must be done about it - will be done about it.
There will be no "opportunity" here in Canada. No shock doctrine! Although it is happening as I write - I don't have to just sit here and accept it - I will find a way to bring about a peaceful loving solution and it won't be by hiding behind a virtual wall of defense with the elite of Israel profiting from surveillance equipment.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
A Break from World Affairs
Today I celebrate a new discovery in Vancouver.
I have been asking for a more convenient way to shop for groceries.Shopping for one is a relatively new experience after over 20 years of living with others.
It has taken me time to adjust to cooking for one - I usually end up cooking enough to feed at least two and sometimes even three or four. Trouble with that is I usually eat far too much because I am hungry enough to eat it all. And it is even worse if it is my comfort food. My inner guide always tells me not to cook so much, but then I argue that I'll save what I don't want for leftovers. Not a good idea because I love the food so much that I can't stop eating until the pot is empty.
No wonder I have put on so much weight since I quit smoking in March.
So I have decided to eat healthy and try to include less meat and more raw fruit and vegetables in my diet. It has been working - I am actually enjoying salads now.
Again the challenge is in the purchasing - a whole bag of organic carrots lasts me way too long and I haven't found them in smaller quantities until today.
Whole Foods on Cambie is my new discovery. On my way to the Factory Outlet to order my new prescription eye glasses, I was delighted to see this beautiful store and I promised myself to drop in on my way home and purchase a few things.
Well low and behold - Whole Foods caters to single folks - young and old. They even had bins of bulk cherry tomatoes, sliced zucchini, prepared vegetables for those who just want to make a little salad for themselves.
I found organic carrots in bulk, individual celery stalks - bins of organic salad greens - although I did not find romaine lettuce in small quantities.
I found a small basil plant that I could easily consume without any waste. The product section today was soooo beautiful - local produce as well as fruit and vegetables from other areas.
Organic is quite important to me, even though my income is not really compatible. But I am going to investigate how to do organic, more frequently (it only took me 15 or 20 minutes at the most to get to the store and I was finished all my errands before my transit ticket expired - $1.75 to go there and back) Now that is a definite advantage...plus I get exercise by walking to and from the skytrain.
I am a happy camper and I am determined to eat healthy, get lots of exercise, and stay within my budget.
I love Vancouver.
I have been asking for a more convenient way to shop for groceries.Shopping for one is a relatively new experience after over 20 years of living with others.
It has taken me time to adjust to cooking for one - I usually end up cooking enough to feed at least two and sometimes even three or four. Trouble with that is I usually eat far too much because I am hungry enough to eat it all. And it is even worse if it is my comfort food. My inner guide always tells me not to cook so much, but then I argue that I'll save what I don't want for leftovers. Not a good idea because I love the food so much that I can't stop eating until the pot is empty.
No wonder I have put on so much weight since I quit smoking in March.
So I have decided to eat healthy and try to include less meat and more raw fruit and vegetables in my diet. It has been working - I am actually enjoying salads now.
Again the challenge is in the purchasing - a whole bag of organic carrots lasts me way too long and I haven't found them in smaller quantities until today.
Whole Foods on Cambie is my new discovery. On my way to the Factory Outlet to order my new prescription eye glasses, I was delighted to see this beautiful store and I promised myself to drop in on my way home and purchase a few things.
Well low and behold - Whole Foods caters to single folks - young and old. They even had bins of bulk cherry tomatoes, sliced zucchini, prepared vegetables for those who just want to make a little salad for themselves.
I found organic carrots in bulk, individual celery stalks - bins of organic salad greens - although I did not find romaine lettuce in small quantities.
I found a small basil plant that I could easily consume without any waste. The product section today was soooo beautiful - local produce as well as fruit and vegetables from other areas.
Organic is quite important to me, even though my income is not really compatible. But I am going to investigate how to do organic, more frequently (it only took me 15 or 20 minutes at the most to get to the store and I was finished all my errands before my transit ticket expired - $1.75 to go there and back) Now that is a definite advantage...plus I get exercise by walking to and from the skytrain.
I am a happy camper and I am determined to eat healthy, get lots of exercise, and stay within my budget.
I love Vancouver.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Consciousness and awareness of world affairs
Can I maintain my peace while being aware of world affairs?
I learned that how I view my external world is a reflection of what is going on inside my mind. I teach that to my students and I share that idea with friends.
I have a dilemma - my attention is attracted to the corruption of the super powerful countries and I feel trapped by the thought that by letting go of these thoughts and my awareness of external activities I would be irresponsible.
I do not want my kids, for example, to end up in a world that is controlled by a few greedy power hungry people.
The only way I could justify that for anyone is if those few individuals suddenly turned coat and became benevolent, generous and altruistic.
With the trillions of dollars that they have accumulated from tax payers and indirect sources of the public money, they would begin creating a world where everyone was given equal opportunity to create health and wellness and happiness and all things lovely in their lives.
BUT, that is just an unrealistic dream and desire for all the people on this planet - even the folks who think that power, greed and money make you happy. I wonder if they are happy? Oh to be a fly on their walls.
Speaking of being a fly on the wall here is a Naomi Klein claim that may rock your boat.
Have you noticed at your supermarket that new automatic check out stalls have been installed recently. Yes, they are not new - I remember them from years ago - can't remember where, but where I shop now, the Safeway at Oakridge Centre, they recently installed about 6. When I was with a friend who is employed by London Drugs as a checkout clerk, pointed out that those high tech conveniences put people out jobs, I wondered why I hadn't thought about that.
Naomi writes in Shock Doctrine that prior to 9/11 this kind of technology was already ready to be utilized for many different functions, grocery checkouts being only one. The purpose of these is to put people out of work, or to put it differently, to reduce the work forces in as many locations as possible.
So, I need someone to tell me the benefits of that for the average person. Now if it were to make life easy and pleasurable for average individuals, then how nice would that be - my dream come true.
BUT we all know - or at least some of us do - that the rich people in this world do not give a rat's ass about our pleasure and comfort.
So, please would all the average individuals please stand up and begin protesting?
There may still be time to reverse the tide - reverse the economics from shocking corrupt Freidmanism to what the people really want - true, pure democracy.
OR, is democracy overrated?
What is democracy?
I learned that how I view my external world is a reflection of what is going on inside my mind. I teach that to my students and I share that idea with friends.
I have a dilemma - my attention is attracted to the corruption of the super powerful countries and I feel trapped by the thought that by letting go of these thoughts and my awareness of external activities I would be irresponsible.
I do not want my kids, for example, to end up in a world that is controlled by a few greedy power hungry people.
The only way I could justify that for anyone is if those few individuals suddenly turned coat and became benevolent, generous and altruistic.
With the trillions of dollars that they have accumulated from tax payers and indirect sources of the public money, they would begin creating a world where everyone was given equal opportunity to create health and wellness and happiness and all things lovely in their lives.
BUT, that is just an unrealistic dream and desire for all the people on this planet - even the folks who think that power, greed and money make you happy. I wonder if they are happy? Oh to be a fly on their walls.
Speaking of being a fly on the wall here is a Naomi Klein claim that may rock your boat.
Have you noticed at your supermarket that new automatic check out stalls have been installed recently. Yes, they are not new - I remember them from years ago - can't remember where, but where I shop now, the Safeway at Oakridge Centre, they recently installed about 6. When I was with a friend who is employed by London Drugs as a checkout clerk, pointed out that those high tech conveniences put people out jobs, I wondered why I hadn't thought about that.
Naomi writes in Shock Doctrine that prior to 9/11 this kind of technology was already ready to be utilized for many different functions, grocery checkouts being only one. The purpose of these is to put people out of work, or to put it differently, to reduce the work forces in as many locations as possible.
So, I need someone to tell me the benefits of that for the average person. Now if it were to make life easy and pleasurable for average individuals, then how nice would that be - my dream come true.
BUT we all know - or at least some of us do - that the rich people in this world do not give a rat's ass about our pleasure and comfort.
So, please would all the average individuals please stand up and begin protesting?
There may still be time to reverse the tide - reverse the economics from shocking corrupt Freidmanism to what the people really want - true, pure democracy.
OR, is democracy overrated?
What is democracy?
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Shock Doctrine: Disaster Captialization
My new hero is Naomi Klein.
I am one quarter of the way through her book Shock Doctrine - Disaster Capitalization and I stopped reading as I became choked up - tears beginning to leak out.
I am in shock. I can't believe I have lived my life in such ignorance.
My quest for spiritual salvation has removed me from earthly disasters and albeit I have chosen this path in this life time - if in fact that is not just a bunch of hooey b.s.
How can any human being ignore the plight of other beings who are suffering. Talk about an awakening - this book has awakened in me a reality that I have been encouraged - taught by my spiritual teachers - to ignore.
The said that what you see is a reflection of your inner world - and if we choose love and peace then that is what we will see with our physical eyes. But even before I was on this quest - I don't remember really grasping the deplorable living conditions that some folks endure. I was much too self-absorbed to get it.
So what is happening to me now to allow me to see more clearly an entirely different kind of world?
I have a desire to speak to a truly enlightened teacher (perhaps my teachers, Krishnananda and Gauri were not actually enlightened after all.)
What does Eckhart Tolle say about the condition of the world - out there?
For example; what brought me close to tears was Naomi's report about Bolivia in 1985 when the new President, Paz, initiated economic reforms based on the theory of shock therapy (Milton Friedman) which sent the country into deep depression and two years later it was the poor - who were already poor before the reforms - who shouldered the cost of such reforms.
In 1987 the average Bolivian earned $140 per year. People were starving - children were lucky to have a piece of bread and a drink of tea each day.
What shocks me is that 1987 is not so far off in the past - I mean my son was 20 years old in l987. My daughter was 18. We were not starving - we have always had an abundance of everything, relatively speaking.
I did not think I was abundant because I always wanted to earn more money for financial freedom or rather financial independence.
How can human beings be so narrow minded. I once had a very good friend tell me he thought my ideas about spirituality were selfish. Is he right?
When I speak about choosing for inner peace and joy - I can do that in a flash - like now - I turn my awareness within to the stillness and voila - peace on demand is what I call it.
Now I will bring my awareness out to the external world - the planet - and allow my mind to encompass aspects of poverty and depression.
I don't get it - perhaps I have fallen off my path - and as my teacher says, it is really hard for those of us who have spent considerable time experiencing inner peace to get back up after they fallen off the path - so far I'm OK - I guess I wasn't so far away from the popular reality of seeing depression and depravity and the ego's view of humanity.
Fascinating is it not?
OK back to reading Naomi's book - she is brilliant - she can actually help me to understand economics - though I don't understand how other human beings can be so concerned about "profits" while watching other humans living in such terrible conditions.
What can I do about it?
Naomi also talks about the Alberta Tar Sands as being a huge creator of devastation to the planet - and the Royal Bank is funding it and so is Exxon funding the project.
We must stop supporting those money grabbing maniacs NOW.
I am not a customer of the Royal Bank, but I could write about it and let people know - I could recommend they read the book and watch her videos on her website.
I am becoming an activist - can a spiritual life include activism?
I am one quarter of the way through her book Shock Doctrine - Disaster Capitalization and I stopped reading as I became choked up - tears beginning to leak out.
I am in shock. I can't believe I have lived my life in such ignorance.
My quest for spiritual salvation has removed me from earthly disasters and albeit I have chosen this path in this life time - if in fact that is not just a bunch of hooey b.s.
How can any human being ignore the plight of other beings who are suffering. Talk about an awakening - this book has awakened in me a reality that I have been encouraged - taught by my spiritual teachers - to ignore.
The said that what you see is a reflection of your inner world - and if we choose love and peace then that is what we will see with our physical eyes. But even before I was on this quest - I don't remember really grasping the deplorable living conditions that some folks endure. I was much too self-absorbed to get it.
So what is happening to me now to allow me to see more clearly an entirely different kind of world?
I have a desire to speak to a truly enlightened teacher (perhaps my teachers, Krishnananda and Gauri were not actually enlightened after all.)
What does Eckhart Tolle say about the condition of the world - out there?
For example; what brought me close to tears was Naomi's report about Bolivia in 1985 when the new President, Paz, initiated economic reforms based on the theory of shock therapy (Milton Friedman) which sent the country into deep depression and two years later it was the poor - who were already poor before the reforms - who shouldered the cost of such reforms.
In 1987 the average Bolivian earned $140 per year. People were starving - children were lucky to have a piece of bread and a drink of tea each day.
What shocks me is that 1987 is not so far off in the past - I mean my son was 20 years old in l987. My daughter was 18. We were not starving - we have always had an abundance of everything, relatively speaking.
I did not think I was abundant because I always wanted to earn more money for financial freedom or rather financial independence.
How can human beings be so narrow minded. I once had a very good friend tell me he thought my ideas about spirituality were selfish. Is he right?
When I speak about choosing for inner peace and joy - I can do that in a flash - like now - I turn my awareness within to the stillness and voila - peace on demand is what I call it.
Now I will bring my awareness out to the external world - the planet - and allow my mind to encompass aspects of poverty and depression.
I don't get it - perhaps I have fallen off my path - and as my teacher says, it is really hard for those of us who have spent considerable time experiencing inner peace to get back up after they fallen off the path - so far I'm OK - I guess I wasn't so far away from the popular reality of seeing depression and depravity and the ego's view of humanity.
Fascinating is it not?
OK back to reading Naomi's book - she is brilliant - she can actually help me to understand economics - though I don't understand how other human beings can be so concerned about "profits" while watching other humans living in such terrible conditions.
What can I do about it?
Naomi also talks about the Alberta Tar Sands as being a huge creator of devastation to the planet - and the Royal Bank is funding it and so is Exxon funding the project.
We must stop supporting those money grabbing maniacs NOW.
I am not a customer of the Royal Bank, but I could write about it and let people know - I could recommend they read the book and watch her videos on her website.
I am becoming an activist - can a spiritual life include activism?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Good News! I've forgotten how long I've been smoke free.
No kidding. I stopped keeping track because I forgot to. That is great news!
I still do have cravings to have a cigarette though. They are psychological - I know that because apparently all traces of nicotine have left my body - it has been more than three weeks now.
I have fun watching my thoughts - and sometimes I laugh at how clever I am. I find myself trying to convince myself that smoking is not that bad for me. I see more smokers now that I have quit than when I smoked. I can hardly believe that there are still so many people smoking.
But this is boring me now. I'm moving on from even talking about it.
I still do have cravings to have a cigarette though. They are psychological - I know that because apparently all traces of nicotine have left my body - it has been more than three weeks now.
I have fun watching my thoughts - and sometimes I laugh at how clever I am. I find myself trying to convince myself that smoking is not that bad for me. I see more smokers now that I have quit than when I smoked. I can hardly believe that there are still so many people smoking.
But this is boring me now. I'm moving on from even talking about it.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Quitting Smoking Makes a Difference
I did not notice all of the newness when I last quit smoking about 25 years ago.
For some reason I am noticing a lot this time around. The one today is sense of smell.
It has definitely heightened and now I'm wondering how others - especially non-smokers could stand me around them.
I put on my favourite top to go out to my friends for Easter dinner. I'm not taking it off because I'm curious about how others will find my very strong odor.
It does not smell like smoke - old smoke. I put on some of my favourite scent - rose gardenia an essential oil that I wear everywhere. I can hardly stand the smell today. But I'm not taking it off because I'm curious again - how will my friend describe this? She has a very sensitive sense of smell.
I wonder if she has withheld her honesty with me - she doesn't usually do that. She is very honest.
So here I go - off to stink up the world - not with the smell of smokey clothes, but with something that I can't describe.
For some reason I am noticing a lot this time around. The one today is sense of smell.
It has definitely heightened and now I'm wondering how others - especially non-smokers could stand me around them.
I put on my favourite top to go out to my friends for Easter dinner. I'm not taking it off because I'm curious about how others will find my very strong odor.
It does not smell like smoke - old smoke. I put on some of my favourite scent - rose gardenia an essential oil that I wear everywhere. I can hardly stand the smell today. But I'm not taking it off because I'm curious again - how will my friend describe this? She has a very sensitive sense of smell.
I wonder if she has withheld her honesty with me - she doesn't usually do that. She is very honest.
So here I go - off to stink up the world - not with the smell of smokey clothes, but with something that I can't describe.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Day 5 as a non-smoker
It's soooo Easy! A few cravings usually when I'm doing something that was accompanied by smoking - but the cravings are so mild - a slight feeling in my chest that I now see as the nicotine monster. It is funny actually because that little B has no power. What used to be a LOUD ROAR is now a tiny weak whimper. I can tell he is dying. After three days of non-smoking, apparently the nicotine has gone from my body - at least 99% has - and in three weeks it will all be gone.
The power of suggestion that Allen Carr uses works for me. I'm so happy to be FREE from the fear of not being able to have a cigarette and from being a slave to the nicotine monster - I can hardly believe I was so blind. My mind is so clever that it had me convinced that smoking was not nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be.
Non-smokers cannot relate to this unless they are addicted to something else - I imagine all addictions create FEAR and panic when threatened by not being able to satisfy the demands of their inner addiction monster.
Allen Carr is brilliant in creating a brainwashing technique that is opposite of what the majority of Quit Smoking organizations do. Rather than using scare tactics which only make a smoker want to smoke more (they create more stress and therefore fear), he constantly tells us how relieved we will feel once we are free from the clutches of the monster within.
He repeatedly reminds us that it is the last cigarette we had that causes our withdrawal symptoms.
Now that is brilliant. I paid attention to what was going on inside me as I took my habitual three puffs on a cigarette. I noticed how relaxed my body felt with each puff. Then I put out the cigarette and went back to my desk.
By the time I sat down, I wanted another cigarette. I could feel the sensations in my chest area that signaled it was time for another. Before I began paying attention, I had not noticed these feelings. These are what Allen calls "withdrawal" sensations.
It is really important to pay attention because then it is easier to overpower the nicotine monster - or another way of putting it is to empower yourself - which takes away the power of the addiction.
People who quit with willpower have a more difficult time taking back their power and allowing the nicotine monster to die. I think it is because FEAR does not allow them to pay attention to what is going on - they try to distract their minds with lots of other things and don't really want to think about smoking - I know that because in the past I tried to quit using willpower and I would not allow myself to even think of smoking.
Now I can see it for what it truly is. And I'm soooo happy to be free of the fear of not having a cigarette.
It is very important to keep in mind that even just one puff on a cigarette will do me in. I know this to be true. After twenty years of not smoking, it was just one puff that immediately empowered the Nicotine Monster and I was back to smoking again.
I had completely forgotten the power of the Monster and that I was an addict. This time, I will keep the book in clear site - forever - and if ever I had a longing for a smoke, I will pick up the book and begin reading and that will save me from falling into the clutches of that NC.
The power of suggestion that Allen Carr uses works for me. I'm so happy to be FREE from the fear of not being able to have a cigarette and from being a slave to the nicotine monster - I can hardly believe I was so blind. My mind is so clever that it had me convinced that smoking was not nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be.
Non-smokers cannot relate to this unless they are addicted to something else - I imagine all addictions create FEAR and panic when threatened by not being able to satisfy the demands of their inner addiction monster.
Allen Carr is brilliant in creating a brainwashing technique that is opposite of what the majority of Quit Smoking organizations do. Rather than using scare tactics which only make a smoker want to smoke more (they create more stress and therefore fear), he constantly tells us how relieved we will feel once we are free from the clutches of the monster within.
He repeatedly reminds us that it is the last cigarette we had that causes our withdrawal symptoms.
Now that is brilliant. I paid attention to what was going on inside me as I took my habitual three puffs on a cigarette. I noticed how relaxed my body felt with each puff. Then I put out the cigarette and went back to my desk.
By the time I sat down, I wanted another cigarette. I could feel the sensations in my chest area that signaled it was time for another. Before I began paying attention, I had not noticed these feelings. These are what Allen calls "withdrawal" sensations.
It is really important to pay attention because then it is easier to overpower the nicotine monster - or another way of putting it is to empower yourself - which takes away the power of the addiction.
People who quit with willpower have a more difficult time taking back their power and allowing the nicotine monster to die. I think it is because FEAR does not allow them to pay attention to what is going on - they try to distract their minds with lots of other things and don't really want to think about smoking - I know that because in the past I tried to quit using willpower and I would not allow myself to even think of smoking.
Now I can see it for what it truly is. And I'm soooo happy to be free of the fear of not having a cigarette.
It is very important to keep in mind that even just one puff on a cigarette will do me in. I know this to be true. After twenty years of not smoking, it was just one puff that immediately empowered the Nicotine Monster and I was back to smoking again.
I had completely forgotten the power of the Monster and that I was an addict. This time, I will keep the book in clear site - forever - and if ever I had a longing for a smoke, I will pick up the book and begin reading and that will save me from falling into the clutches of that NC.
Monday, March 22, 2010
In the mind of a smoker
Now that I am a non-smoker, I have a different perspective - I can see how corrupt a mind can become when influenced by an addiction.
I can see how easily it is to believe the thoughts and how easy it is to rationalize thoughts that are absolutely self-destructive - fatally so.
It is very strange for me to write these ideas - a part of me cannot believe I allowed myself to be so fooled - so trapped in disallusions.
It is as if I, or something within me, created a world around me based on conspiracy theories that influenced my beliefs about smoking. I actually held on to ideas that smoking is not harmful.
There must be a conspiracy to keep the tobacco industry in business. The government had to appear to be protecting the people, all the while increasing taxes on cigarettes and filling the government coffers. I wonder how they spend the billions or trillions of $$$ of cigarette taxes - I read that the tobacco industry only earns about 1/4 of what the government brings in.
The hype that smoking kills you can't be true. None of it makes sense - the government sets up quit smoking clinics; creates laws to prevent people from smoking in businesses, and even so many feet away from a door to a businesses. Creates another law to put health warnings in every package of cigarettes to make sure smokers see them. All those warnings do, btw, are to create more fear in smokers which makes them smoke more.
I argued with myself and anyone who challenged my smoking that until the government outlaws the tobacco industry, then I shall continue to smoke - because it must be safer to smoke than to do other drugs since there are laws against using them.
A part of me rationalized that that smoking must not be so harmful because even some health supplements, and herbal remedies have also been banned and some supplements businesses have even been shut down because their products are considered unsafe for the general public to use without proper supervision of members of the Medical Association.
It is not easy for me to write this because non of it makes any sense to me at all now. Since I have quit smoking it is so clear that my resistance to quitting was based on fear and fear alone.
When I thought of quitting smoking, I panicked when I imagined not being able to have a cigarette when I wanted one. No kidding - panic took over my mind and my body and rendered me completely helpless. THANK GOD THAT'S OVER!
If I ever am tempted to have even just one little puff on a cigarette - I MUST NOT DO IT. I am buying a copy of the book The EASY WAY... and keeping it handy, just in case I weaken.
But I'm convinced that I will not weaken. I love the freedom from fear and slavery that comes with being a non-smoker. Only an ex-smoker can understand that.
I can see how easily it is to believe the thoughts and how easy it is to rationalize thoughts that are absolutely self-destructive - fatally so.
It is very strange for me to write these ideas - a part of me cannot believe I allowed myself to be so fooled - so trapped in disallusions.
It is as if I, or something within me, created a world around me based on conspiracy theories that influenced my beliefs about smoking. I actually held on to ideas that smoking is not harmful.
There must be a conspiracy to keep the tobacco industry in business. The government had to appear to be protecting the people, all the while increasing taxes on cigarettes and filling the government coffers. I wonder how they spend the billions or trillions of $$$ of cigarette taxes - I read that the tobacco industry only earns about 1/4 of what the government brings in.
The hype that smoking kills you can't be true. None of it makes sense - the government sets up quit smoking clinics; creates laws to prevent people from smoking in businesses, and even so many feet away from a door to a businesses. Creates another law to put health warnings in every package of cigarettes to make sure smokers see them. All those warnings do, btw, are to create more fear in smokers which makes them smoke more.
I argued with myself and anyone who challenged my smoking that until the government outlaws the tobacco industry, then I shall continue to smoke - because it must be safer to smoke than to do other drugs since there are laws against using them.
A part of me rationalized that that smoking must not be so harmful because even some health supplements, and herbal remedies have also been banned and some supplements businesses have even been shut down because their products are considered unsafe for the general public to use without proper supervision of members of the Medical Association.
It is not easy for me to write this because non of it makes any sense to me at all now. Since I have quit smoking it is so clear that my resistance to quitting was based on fear and fear alone.
When I thought of quitting smoking, I panicked when I imagined not being able to have a cigarette when I wanted one. No kidding - panic took over my mind and my body and rendered me completely helpless. THANK GOD THAT'S OVER!
If I ever am tempted to have even just one little puff on a cigarette - I MUST NOT DO IT. I am buying a copy of the book The EASY WAY... and keeping it handy, just in case I weaken.
But I'm convinced that I will not weaken. I love the freedom from fear and slavery that comes with being a non-smoker. Only an ex-smoker can understand that.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Q-DAY TODAY
TODAY I AM A NON-SMOKER! I AM FINALLY FREE!
I have finally escaped the clutches of the nicotine monster inside me and can now enjoy life completely in great health and happiness.
Just as the book, Quit Smoking The Easy Way, said it was easy. Of course this is just day 1 of my new life as a non-smoker, but I have not had more than a tiny bit of craving for a cigarette. Allen Carr said our cravings are hardly noticeable - he's right. I notice them and think how happy I am to be FREE and pouff my mind goes off on something else.
I have so much energy I can't believe it. I'm not sure whether my mind is keeping me active so I won't smoke, or smoking actually blocked my desire to do things like cleaning my vertical blinds, making my granola, creating a grocery list on the computer, booking movies at the library - my position in the line up is over 300 on two of the lists.
I bought a kit called Nixotinex to help me stop the cravings and detox my body for $32 but I'm not using it - don't have to.
My website is not screaming out for my attention so I'm happy to take a holiday from it. March ezine is not going to happen - but really, when only two of 14 registrants open it each month, and those two happen to be me and my SBI friend in S. A. guess no one will notice.
So my plan for the evening is to read. I love being FREE from the misery, fear, and slavery of the nicotine monster.
I have finally escaped the clutches of the nicotine monster inside me and can now enjoy life completely in great health and happiness.
Just as the book, Quit Smoking The Easy Way, said it was easy. Of course this is just day 1 of my new life as a non-smoker, but I have not had more than a tiny bit of craving for a cigarette. Allen Carr said our cravings are hardly noticeable - he's right. I notice them and think how happy I am to be FREE and pouff my mind goes off on something else.
I have so much energy I can't believe it. I'm not sure whether my mind is keeping me active so I won't smoke, or smoking actually blocked my desire to do things like cleaning my vertical blinds, making my granola, creating a grocery list on the computer, booking movies at the library - my position in the line up is over 300 on two of the lists.
I bought a kit called Nixotinex to help me stop the cravings and detox my body for $32 but I'm not using it - don't have to.
My website is not screaming out for my attention so I'm happy to take a holiday from it. March ezine is not going to happen - but really, when only two of 14 registrants open it each month, and those two happen to be me and my SBI friend in S. A. guess no one will notice.
So my plan for the evening is to read. I love being FREE from the misery, fear, and slavery of the nicotine monster.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Quitting smoking - 2
March 16, 2010
QD is drawing nearer - 5 more smoking days to go. Ridiculous! I am determined to quit and I can visualize how happy and free I will be as a non-smoker.
This process is fascinating. When I quit smoking oh so many years ago now, I recall a little book I read. That may have been the magic pill that helped me get so easily off nicotine.
So last night my friend B who is quitting with me lent me a book. We had our last "smoke out" together - watching the movie, Up In The Air - with George Clooney - he's right up there with Gregory Peck for me (except for this movie). Can't figure out how it made the list for an Oscar. So B and I ate dinner and smoked while we watched the movie.
What a horrible experience - when she lit up a cigarette, I couldn't stand the stink of it, eventually I had to stick my head out of the balcony door to get a whiff of fresh air. That is a good sign. Most times I did not notice. My mind would not allow me to accept how disgusting even second hand smoke is.
I think that now that I am determined to quit, have actually committed my self to that goal, that something is showing me what a wise decision that is. I am going to call it the Universe for lack of an accurate word.
I have always said that when I truly desire something and declare my desire with emotional energy the Universe delivers it. What I do not receive is blocked by some internal programming that I am not aware of at the surface level of my mind.
When I got home last night I peeled all of my clothes off and could smell the smoke in them (previously denied they smelled). In the comfort of my PJs, I curled up on the couch and began reading the book. I was not surprised actually, but I do believe this is a 2nd edition to the book I read oh so long ago.
When Allen Carr talks about the nicotine monster inside me that is controlling my life - every precious moment of it - I remember that I could relate to the monster metaphor more than to the real live disgusting and ugly jar full of cigarette butts, or wicked posters with nasty health threats. That is how limited and non-effective most of the Quit Smoking so-called experts operate. I know, I've been there done that. And I have suffered the self-demeaning failed attempts to quit before.
The nicotine monster that has control over my life has to go. I visualize it as a large mouth bass, or large ugly bottom-feeder fish, wildly swimming around in my chest area with a mouth flapping - opening and closing, demanding to be fed.
His demands feel like a kind of cotton batting filling up my lungs - threatening to suffocate me if I don't feed him. As soon as I have even one puff on a cigarette, he slows down and my breathing becomes easier and my body feels less contracted.
After three puffs Monster Nic seems satisfied and he retreats to a deep dark corner in my lungs and rests somewhat peacefully, but his eyes never really close. I am aware of him watching for the slightest hint that there is more.
The odd thing about it is that as soon as I get back to my computer and sit down, the monster seems give me a gentle poke, hinting that he is there and should I choose to he will accept dessert.
This vivid visualization helps me to feel in control.
So I have committed myself to finishing the book, as the author recommends and since I have done it before, I know I that quitting is very easy, once again.
To be safe I am also going to use a product called Nixotinex that B used when she last quit. Trouble is that when she quit it was for about a month to go on a cigarette free vacation with her kids and grandchild. Shortly after she returned she resumed smoking.
But I say best to cover all the bases. This product is supposed to help stop the cravings - don't know how, but who cares - I am so sick of smoking and the inconvenience of it, and the fact that most of society now treats smokers like Lepers, or as I call it diseased freaks, that the reason I started to smoke again is no longer valid (as if it was anyway).
Recently, I was asked a question that I think helped me to see more clearly how my addiction was no longer meeting my needs. He asked, "Why did you start smoking?" And because he probably knew my usual reaction to talking about smoking (very assertively but politely telling people it was none of their business) - he just replied "Thanks". Believe me when I say that in my case, "less is more". A few days later, the question came to my mind and I actually allowed it to surface and I considered the answer. The reason I started to smoke after twenty years was that I felt left out of a group of "inner circle" folks who were interesting and fun to be with. I know it is insane to think that I had to smoke to be with them, but that is the nature of an addict - perhaps the reason I smoked again was that finally I was able to rationalize an excuse to feed Monster Nic who never actually died and went to his heaven.
Anyway enough - I am quitting for good as soon as I finish this book. Thank you for all of the support I am getting from my Inner Being, from B for doing it with me, and for Allen Carr from coming back into my life when I most need him.
God, I love my self when I feel so in control. Now believe it or not, after all that I'm going to have my first cigarette (3 puffs) of the day. Allen Carr says not to quit yet - and I do believe he is right.
QD is drawing nearer - 5 more smoking days to go. Ridiculous! I am determined to quit and I can visualize how happy and free I will be as a non-smoker.
This process is fascinating. When I quit smoking oh so many years ago now, I recall a little book I read. That may have been the magic pill that helped me get so easily off nicotine.
So last night my friend B who is quitting with me lent me a book. We had our last "smoke out" together - watching the movie, Up In The Air - with George Clooney - he's right up there with Gregory Peck for me (except for this movie). Can't figure out how it made the list for an Oscar. So B and I ate dinner and smoked while we watched the movie.
What a horrible experience - when she lit up a cigarette, I couldn't stand the stink of it, eventually I had to stick my head out of the balcony door to get a whiff of fresh air. That is a good sign. Most times I did not notice. My mind would not allow me to accept how disgusting even second hand smoke is.
I think that now that I am determined to quit, have actually committed my self to that goal, that something is showing me what a wise decision that is. I am going to call it the Universe for lack of an accurate word.
I have always said that when I truly desire something and declare my desire with emotional energy the Universe delivers it. What I do not receive is blocked by some internal programming that I am not aware of at the surface level of my mind.
When I got home last night I peeled all of my clothes off and could smell the smoke in them (previously denied they smelled). In the comfort of my PJs, I curled up on the couch and began reading the book. I was not surprised actually, but I do believe this is a 2nd edition to the book I read oh so long ago.
When Allen Carr talks about the nicotine monster inside me that is controlling my life - every precious moment of it - I remember that I could relate to the monster metaphor more than to the real live disgusting and ugly jar full of cigarette butts, or wicked posters with nasty health threats. That is how limited and non-effective most of the Quit Smoking so-called experts operate. I know, I've been there done that. And I have suffered the self-demeaning failed attempts to quit before.
The nicotine monster that has control over my life has to go. I visualize it as a large mouth bass, or large ugly bottom-feeder fish, wildly swimming around in my chest area with a mouth flapping - opening and closing, demanding to be fed.
His demands feel like a kind of cotton batting filling up my lungs - threatening to suffocate me if I don't feed him. As soon as I have even one puff on a cigarette, he slows down and my breathing becomes easier and my body feels less contracted.
After three puffs Monster Nic seems satisfied and he retreats to a deep dark corner in my lungs and rests somewhat peacefully, but his eyes never really close. I am aware of him watching for the slightest hint that there is more.
The odd thing about it is that as soon as I get back to my computer and sit down, the monster seems give me a gentle poke, hinting that he is there and should I choose to he will accept dessert.
This vivid visualization helps me to feel in control.
So I have committed myself to finishing the book, as the author recommends and since I have done it before, I know I that quitting is very easy, once again.
To be safe I am also going to use a product called Nixotinex that B used when she last quit. Trouble is that when she quit it was for about a month to go on a cigarette free vacation with her kids and grandchild. Shortly after she returned she resumed smoking.
But I say best to cover all the bases. This product is supposed to help stop the cravings - don't know how, but who cares - I am so sick of smoking and the inconvenience of it, and the fact that most of society now treats smokers like Lepers, or as I call it diseased freaks, that the reason I started to smoke again is no longer valid (as if it was anyway).
Recently, I was asked a question that I think helped me to see more clearly how my addiction was no longer meeting my needs. He asked, "Why did you start smoking?" And because he probably knew my usual reaction to talking about smoking (very assertively but politely telling people it was none of their business) - he just replied "Thanks". Believe me when I say that in my case, "less is more". A few days later, the question came to my mind and I actually allowed it to surface and I considered the answer. The reason I started to smoke after twenty years was that I felt left out of a group of "inner circle" folks who were interesting and fun to be with. I know it is insane to think that I had to smoke to be with them, but that is the nature of an addict - perhaps the reason I smoked again was that finally I was able to rationalize an excuse to feed Monster Nic who never actually died and went to his heaven.
Anyway enough - I am quitting for good as soon as I finish this book. Thank you for all of the support I am getting from my Inner Being, from B for doing it with me, and for Allen Carr from coming back into my life when I most need him.
God, I love my self when I feel so in control. Now believe it or not, after all that I'm going to have my first cigarette (3 puffs) of the day. Allen Carr says not to quit yet - and I do believe he is right.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
quitting smoking
Yes, I am an addict. My substance is tobacco.
Yes, I want to quit smoking if for no other reason than when I return home to Toronto for three weeks in August I don't want to feel like a diseased freak.
I am happy for my kids that they do not smoke, my son quit when he was 12 years old:) and my daughter quit about 10 years ago, I think.
I quit smoking when a by-law in Toronto made it illegal to smoke indoors in offices. That would force me to smoke outdoors. Well, no one was going to tell me where to smoke. Heavens, women did not smoke on the streets in those days, and I was a proper woman, after all. I forget the year, although I do remember how easy it was for me to quit - even considering that I had smoked at my desk and at home and felt oh so comfortable and acceptable.
So for twenty years I was a non-smoker. I often felt left out while others retreated outdoors but I knew that I could not even take one little puff on a cigarette, or I was a goner. I knew I was an addict.
But one day when I noticed that a bunch of very interesting people frequently gathered on a porch smoking laughing, talking and just having the time of their lives - I somehow could not join them with smoking - so I gave in and bingo - once again I was a smoker.
The last time I went home for a three week holiday, three years ago, the most difficult time for me was while I stayed at my son's home. I do not smoke while I am with them, so I went out to the mall on a number of occasions to have a smoke. I felt guilty - like a bad kid - and sneaky. By the end of the week I was really stressed out, perhaps partly due to my self-imposed smoking restrictions, but also because I spent the week looking after my grandchildren aged two and four.
Not an easy job for a grandmother who is not used to have young children around - even though I love them to bits - their noisy busy-ness and demanding natures - being kids - was too much for me.
I find it extremely annoying that I am such a wimp on this planet. Others smokers seem to be comfortable smoking wherever they want to - whenever the monster gets hungry. They don't seem ashamed of their addiction.
I also find it odd that smokers are so careless about discarding their butts wherever they are on the streets, in the parks, on the beach - that is littering and somehow they do not seem aware of it.
What makes me angry is that it casts a negative impression that all smokers are the same - I am not that kind of smoker. I carry a little ashtray and butt container with me whenever I think I will smoke.
I don't smoke most of the time when I go out - even socially. I only usually smoke at home outside on my balcony, and that is about 3 or 4 cigarettes a day - last month I spent about $56 on cigarettes.
I do smoke when I am with other smokers - I have one friend who smokes even in her home and on average I visit her about twice a month. I usually come away feeling dizzy and nauseous. Last time we were together at her son's she went out for a smoke without asking me to go with her and I was so thankful - I don't need to smoke - but after the event, we had a smoke together out at our cars before we said goodnight.
Oddly enough, even though I smoke only about 4 cigarettes a day, I find it quite difficult to quit altogether. My mind is convinced that without the smoking inspiration break I'll not be able to write - but I also take breaks when I'm not writing so it is the demanding monster within me that has me in its grip - gotta get rid of it.
So enough - I could rationalize why it is OK for me to smoke til the cows come home, but if I am to be nicotine free by the time I go home in August, then I must start
now.
March 21st is my quit date. So I am beginning reducing my smoking to between 9 am and 10 pm.
This morning I went for a walk as part of my plan to replace smoking with other activities to make it easier on Quit Smoking Day
Trouble is I write - creating my website - and when I smoke it is to take a break from the computer and my writing - I call it my inspiration break because I actually do receive inspiration for my writing when I take the break. I also use the break to stretch my hands, arms and body and I usually go out on the balcony for about 3 puffs on a cigarette - that is how I smoke.
I have 18 days to go before I quit.
I will reduce nicotine in my body to three cigarettes a day on March 10.
I will reduce nicotine in my body to two cigarettes a day on March 17.
I will be a non-smoker on Sunday the 21st.
Yes, I want to quit smoking if for no other reason than when I return home to Toronto for three weeks in August I don't want to feel like a diseased freak.
I am happy for my kids that they do not smoke, my son quit when he was 12 years old:) and my daughter quit about 10 years ago, I think.
I quit smoking when a by-law in Toronto made it illegal to smoke indoors in offices. That would force me to smoke outdoors. Well, no one was going to tell me where to smoke. Heavens, women did not smoke on the streets in those days, and I was a proper woman, after all. I forget the year, although I do remember how easy it was for me to quit - even considering that I had smoked at my desk and at home and felt oh so comfortable and acceptable.
So for twenty years I was a non-smoker. I often felt left out while others retreated outdoors but I knew that I could not even take one little puff on a cigarette, or I was a goner. I knew I was an addict.
But one day when I noticed that a bunch of very interesting people frequently gathered on a porch smoking laughing, talking and just having the time of their lives - I somehow could not join them with smoking - so I gave in and bingo - once again I was a smoker.
The last time I went home for a three week holiday, three years ago, the most difficult time for me was while I stayed at my son's home. I do not smoke while I am with them, so I went out to the mall on a number of occasions to have a smoke. I felt guilty - like a bad kid - and sneaky. By the end of the week I was really stressed out, perhaps partly due to my self-imposed smoking restrictions, but also because I spent the week looking after my grandchildren aged two and four.
Not an easy job for a grandmother who is not used to have young children around - even though I love them to bits - their noisy busy-ness and demanding natures - being kids - was too much for me.
I find it extremely annoying that I am such a wimp on this planet. Others smokers seem to be comfortable smoking wherever they want to - whenever the monster gets hungry. They don't seem ashamed of their addiction.
I also find it odd that smokers are so careless about discarding their butts wherever they are on the streets, in the parks, on the beach - that is littering and somehow they do not seem aware of it.
What makes me angry is that it casts a negative impression that all smokers are the same - I am not that kind of smoker. I carry a little ashtray and butt container with me whenever I think I will smoke.
I don't smoke most of the time when I go out - even socially. I only usually smoke at home outside on my balcony, and that is about 3 or 4 cigarettes a day - last month I spent about $56 on cigarettes.
I do smoke when I am with other smokers - I have one friend who smokes even in her home and on average I visit her about twice a month. I usually come away feeling dizzy and nauseous. Last time we were together at her son's she went out for a smoke without asking me to go with her and I was so thankful - I don't need to smoke - but after the event, we had a smoke together out at our cars before we said goodnight.
Oddly enough, even though I smoke only about 4 cigarettes a day, I find it quite difficult to quit altogether. My mind is convinced that without the smoking inspiration break I'll not be able to write - but I also take breaks when I'm not writing so it is the demanding monster within me that has me in its grip - gotta get rid of it.
So enough - I could rationalize why it is OK for me to smoke til the cows come home, but if I am to be nicotine free by the time I go home in August, then I must start
now.
March 21st is my quit date. So I am beginning reducing my smoking to between 9 am and 10 pm.
This morning I went for a walk as part of my plan to replace smoking with other activities to make it easier on Quit Smoking Day
Trouble is I write - creating my website - and when I smoke it is to take a break from the computer and my writing - I call it my inspiration break because I actually do receive inspiration for my writing when I take the break. I also use the break to stretch my hands, arms and body and I usually go out on the balcony for about 3 puffs on a cigarette - that is how I smoke.
I have 18 days to go before I quit.
I will reduce nicotine in my body to three cigarettes a day on March 10.
I will reduce nicotine in my body to two cigarettes a day on March 17.
I will be a non-smoker on Sunday the 21st.
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