In the mind of a smoker

Now that I am a non-smoker, I have a different perspective - I can see how corrupt a mind can become when influenced by an addiction.

I can see how easily it is to believe the thoughts and how easy it is to rationalize thoughts that are absolutely self-destructive - fatally so.

It is very strange for me to write these ideas - a part of me cannot believe I allowed myself to be so fooled - so trapped in disallusions.

It is as if I, or something within me, created a world around me based on conspiracy theories that influenced my beliefs about smoking. I actually held on to ideas that smoking is not harmful.

There must be a conspiracy to keep the tobacco industry in business. The government had to appear to be protecting the people, all the while increasing taxes on cigarettes and filling the government coffers. I wonder how they spend the billions or trillions of $$$ of cigarette taxes - I read that the tobacco industry only earns about 1/4 of what the government brings in.

The hype that smoking kills you can't be true. None of it makes sense - the government sets up quit smoking clinics; creates laws to prevent people from smoking in businesses, and even so many feet away from a door to a businesses. Creates another law to put health warnings in every package of cigarettes to make sure smokers see them. All those warnings do, btw, are to create more fear in smokers which makes them smoke more.

I argued with myself and anyone who challenged my smoking that until the government outlaws the tobacco industry, then I shall continue to smoke - because it must be safer to smoke than to do other drugs since there are laws against using them.

A part of me rationalized that that smoking must not be so harmful because even some health supplements, and herbal remedies have also been banned and some supplements businesses have even been shut down because their products are considered unsafe for the general public to use without proper supervision of members of the Medical Association.

It is not easy for me to write this because non of it makes any sense to me at all now. Since I have quit smoking it is so clear that my resistance to quitting was based on fear and fear alone.

When I thought of quitting smoking, I panicked when I imagined not being able to have a cigarette when I wanted one. No kidding - panic took over my mind and my body and rendered me completely helpless. THANK GOD THAT'S OVER!

If I ever am tempted to have even just one little puff on a cigarette - I MUST NOT DO IT. I am buying a copy of the book The EASY WAY... and keeping it handy, just in case I weaken.

But I'm convinced that I will not weaken. I love the freedom from fear and slavery that comes with being a non-smoker. Only an ex-smoker can understand that.