Questions are pouring into my mind - my curiosity is having a picnic - is that my ego - of course it is because the highest power for good has no questions.
It knows all there is to know that is important for spiritual growth - and there is nothing more important than spiritual growth for we are nothing but spirit with a physical body for the convenience of playing out our drama on this planet in this lifetime.
Q. For most of my adult life (I am repeating myself) I have wondered why sex is such a taboo activity and therefore topic of discussion.
Q. Why is incest so rampant?
Q. Why do fathers and mothers molest young children?
While I am asking these questions, I am doing my best to remain consciously alert and aware of how my body is feeling and what thoughts are trying to surface but somehow seem to be thwarted as they begin to bubble up in my mind.
Fascinating. My mind has an automatic censor trigger - no kidding - taboo thoughts are blocked as they try to manifest in my mind. But I know that I have control over my mind so I will do my best to allow all thoughts to manifest. It is important for my research.
My research is about sexuality and why human beings everywhere have been mislead and by allowing our natural urges to be denied we have disabled a major aspect of our physical and spiritual being.
How could something so major to our human evolution have been allowed to destroyed the very essence of who and what we are.
I feel incensed and am determined to do everything I can to help humanity to overcome that destructive force.
We are so brainwashed as to be unconscious about our imprisonment. For years I was aware of feeling that I was being held captive behind prison bars.
I thought that psychotherapy and my latest experiences with meditation had opened the door and that I had walked out to freedom.
Fooled again.
But not for long. Even with the benefits of meditation and my understanding and awareness of EGO holding me unconscious - when it comes to sexuality, I am still a prisoner.
The other day when my friend Mataji Eleanor stayed over with me on her way to a spiritual retreat in Portland, Oregon, she invited me to choose one card from a deck of them with a question to the Universe. My question as it always is - actually it is more of a request - was to show me what is the next step on my quest for enlightenment. What do I need to know to move forward and upward?
Well as usual, the Universe guided me to a new book that has been released called Sex at Dawn. I wrote about it yesterday and did not finish the post.
The website that I found in my Google search for the meaning of love, that became statement, "prehistoric peace without war", was Dr. Susan Block.
She was promoting Christopher Ryan's new book and includes a long audio interview with him that aroused my excited curiosity as well as my sexual urges.
I quickly emailed the url to Tommy - who must have been very surprised to have me recommending such a website that he had not even seen yet. I was not aware at the time that Dr. Block's site is a porn site ( a so-called porn site) but when I returned to the site sure enough I had missed the very obvious explicit sex photographs in the left margin ???????
Anyway next came new information about Bonobos - apes that have existed for millions of years - that live in communities of no more than 150 members (Tipping Point recommends that size of community as being completely harmonious). These apes are remarkably close to human beings in many ways. Christopher was particularly interested and writes about their sexuality. These marvelous creatures thrive on open sexual relationships. They live harmoniously together and act out their sexual urges whenever and wherever they choose. No sexual taboos exist within this species.
I will read this book and even buy it because I do believe this is my next step toward freedom.
So many questions...
Q. When did the evolution from apes to homo sapiens change sexual freedom?
Before I go on with the questions - last night Trevor took his mom, Bernice and I to the Giggle Dam Club in Port Coquitlam to celebrate Bernice's 70th birthday. What a blast that was - very worth the $50 I was going to pay to join them - "was going to pay" because it turned out to be a free evening including dinner and drinks. The owners are friends of Trevor.
After the show while parked outside Bernice's apt. Trevor shared about he and Monika's decision to split up - to end their marriage, or to change it - still not carved in stone. The reason they are breaking up is that Trevor wants to move out of their monogamous relationship - and Monika can't agree to follow suit.
Co-incidentally I am evolving with regard to my ideas about open relationship and sexuality and I shared this with Trevor - naming Tommy as my current beau and teacher on my new adventure. Bernice and Trevor know Tommy.
As we were talking, I had a very funny visual of me showing up at the Tantric event that is happening on Oct 29th in North Van. I shared it with them - that Tommy has invited me to attend a Tantric event and it would be a riot if Trevor showed up at the same event - Trevor's grin stretched across his face and his face may have even turned red (it was too dark to see) but he laughed and said he was registered to attend the even and we talked about that for a while. In the end Trev said that he would be OK if I showed up but he would not be practicing the tantric touching exercises with me. How bazaar is that - a step son and his step mom attending the same sexually free event - sounds like a Greek mythology - or a scene from a historical novel.
It is definitely shaking my foundations.
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